Thursday, September 12, 2013

current events

A few pregnancy-related things. I know. I am really a one-trick pony these days.

- I got a belly bandit to hold up my girth. Carrying the belly around has begun to feel uncomfortable at times, so this weight-belt-looking thing is supposed to help with that. Of course, it looks like I'm wearing a weight belt under my clothes, so that's the tradeoff.

- Oils and lotions and potions, oh my! I've been lotioning my stomach for several months (it puts the lotion on the stomach or it gets the stretch marks again ... Oh, wait. It gets the stretch marks anyway). It helps with the itching, but it's true what they say: You can put whatever the hell you want on your skin; if you are predestined to get stretch marks (I am), one day they're just gonna pop out with jazz hands like Hello Dolly!

- FYI my favorite is Jason Vitamin E oil. Smells nice and feels like it's actually doing something, even if it's not.

- I figured out there's a delicate balance that needs to happen if I'm to avoid majorly swollen feet. 1) Drink like 12 pint glasses of water a day. 2) Go on a 20 minute walk. 3) Don't sit for too long and if you do, put your feet up. 4) Take a nap. 5) Avoid eating too much salt.

- So I have a question about pubic hair. Maybe that should have been the title of this post, just to grab your attention. My question is: How concerned are we about pubic hair when it comes to giving birth? And what are we doing about it? Going for a wax? Shaving? And if we are going for a wax, is that, like, kosher in the third trimester?

- So apparently kegels are scientifically proven to be pretty important when it comes to making sure I don't pee my pants every time I sneeze after giving birth. So I guess I need to get on that. Am I the only one who gets winded after doing 15 kegels? Also, I think I'm supposed to be doing like 200 of these a day. Hahahahaha....

- Someone please explain when I can drink alcohol after I have the kid, since I'll be (attempting) breastfeeding. You can drink while you're breastfeeding or immediately after, yes? And all is fine? I mean, not binge drinking but just a glass of wine. Do not say "pump and dump": I don't believe in it.

- That thing where you have to pee so bad and then you go and it's like a tiny trickle forrrrreeeevvvveeerrrrrr. Good times.

- Oh and I snore now. Hella sexxay!


28 comments:

  1. I did the best I could with shaving by just feeling around. Not like I could see what I was doing.

    Ha.

    But I don't think anyone really cares about the condition of your pubic hair when you are pushing a human being out of your vagina. I think the whole baby coming out of your vagina overshadows any pubic hair you may or may not have.

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    1. I hope my labor and delivery nurse friend comments on this! I'm very curious.

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  2. I've never heard anyone ask that before! :) NOONE cares about the hair down there! Too much other "stuff" going on. REALLY. ....and a glass of wine AFTER breastfeeding will be fine. It's only when breastfeeding immediately AFTER the wine that maybe the baby will be affected. :) ...and I'll leave the kegel question alone. heehee *since I can't figure out how to "comment" correctly with a name/title/whatever, I'm doing it anonymous. But this is mindy.*

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  3. There are so many gloved fingers all up in your business, it just isn't going to matter. be more concerned with taking a dump on the table. I mean, I didn't in my three deliveries (that I know of), but I could have, and I think I would have been oblivious.

    And I don't get the whole pump and dump thing, since alcohol enters your bloodstream, and you can't pump it out. From what I've read, you're just wasting milk. And you will cry over spilt milk when breastfeeding. If you know you're going to enjoy a beverage, nurse beforehand, and you should be fine. I would pump too, and get a nice collection of frozen breast milk saved up for the baby and for overnight guest who want cereal in the morning. Just kidding. but seriously, do that to your husband.

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    1. I am WAY more concerned about pubes than I am about pooping on the table. I assume I will poop -- one nurse friend tells me almost everyone does, but it's no biggie, they just wipe it away and carry on.

      I really need to read up on pumping ...

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  4. I agree, no one cares. Honestly, that's not even a thing that enters into the conversation, so don't worry. Pregnancy hormones can make waxing far more painful than usual, so I'd skipit. As far as the booze, not too different having a little wine in your breast milk than it is to have it traveling through the placenta -- it's okay to enjoy an occasional glass of wine. Pump and dump is kind of useless anyway, because you never know when the booze will actually get into your supply (reliably).

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    1. I am sure my bikini area is of much greater concern to me than to anyone attending the birth. I will skip the wax and attempt the shave, possibly with some help!

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  5. i drink while nursing, best way to ensure the booze isnt getting into the milk since it takes usually 45 minutes to peak. also i did wait a couple months actually since in the beginning i was nursing what seemed like every 2 hours, so no time seemed "safe". the only times i have pumped and dumped was if i went out drinking and my husband put the baby to bed and i needed to pump simply to relieve myself before heading to bed since i missed a feeding!

    a favorite find:
    Dr. Jack Newman, member of the LLLI Health Advisory Council, "More Breastfeeding Myths":

    Reasonable alcohol intake should not be discouraged at all. As is the case with most drugs, very little alcohol comes out in the milk. The mother can take some alcohol and continue breastfeeding as she normally does. Prohibiting alcohol is another way we make life unnecessarily restrictive for nursing mothers.

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    1. Just googled Newman and I like his style. :)

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  6. Shave. Have B help...

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    1. There's an image!! What do most ladies do? Do you guys even take notice? I shouldn't care, I know. But: neuroses.

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    2. I'm pretty sure no nurse really cares, but we do try to keep you clean. Amniotic fluid, meconium, blood,clots and poop all flow easily through this area. Believe me you will feel much cleaner without all of these clinging to your pubes (sorry for the image). Get most of it yourself and get B to help, or find someone you can giggle with!

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    3. All right, that settles it!

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  7. Dude, the circus could've ridden up into my business and I wouldn't have noticed. Plus, I couldn't see down there and didn't feel like cutting myself with the razor. I'm pretty sure the nurses have seen it all, so I wouldn't worry about it. As for the drinking, nurse right before.

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    1. Yeah I can't see crap, so I'd need a mirror and possibly a stick to tie on to the end of my razor so it reaches. Lol

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  8. Honey, if you can shave down there in your third trimester, you are way ahead of the game...I couldn't even tie my shoes! Also, I wouldn't worry about it...everybody in the hospital from your doctor to the guy down in the gift shop is gonna get a chance to see your vagina, but no one is actually looking at it!

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    1. That is a LOT of vagina display. ;) And no, I really can't shave at the moment, not that I've tried in a month or so!

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  9. Yeah, worrying about pubes when pushing a baby out of your vagina shouldn't be allowed. Any time you find the thought entering your mind, pick up a copy of "Our Bodies, Ourselves," say two Hail Glorias (Steinem, that is), and consider yourself forgiven.

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    1. Good reminder!! From my miraculous, hairy vagina shall emerge life.

      But seriously, I wish I could get a wax.

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    2. YOU ARE A MAMMAL, GURL. A PRIMATE AND A MOON GODDESS.

      But, of course if you want to go wax your business, I don't see why you shouldn't. Except for the sensitivity thing - I can see how that might be more painful when things are all hormone-ified.

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  10. These responses are cracking me up!

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  11. So I did what Mandy_Fish did - I shaved (using a beard trimmer) before but it was like shaving in the dark since I couldn't see what I was working with. Made for some fun later when the hairs I missed became extra long and got stuck to the gorgeous pads you'll get to wear post-baby. Seriously though, your vag will look like a grenade exploded (and maybe feel only slightly better) so they won't even notice the pubes. Forget about the toe polish too. Ain't nobody got time for that!

    I never pump & dumped (too precious!). I just drank immediately after nursing or pumping and just kept it in moderation. I figured if the kid did get some, they'd just sleep a little better.

    All the kegels in the world haven't helped me. Every time I do jumping jacks, I pee a little. Sneeze? I pee. Jog for more than 10 min? A little pee. And despite lots of stretch mark lotion, my pooch looks like a deflated balloon, even 16 months later. Kiss your dignity goodbye - you're in Mommy land now, honey!

    And your nipples. Has anyone talked to you about this? After all that nursing and pumping, your nipples will be constantly erect and incredibly sensitive but not in a sexy way. Luckily the nursing pads add a little buffer to 'dem headlights. While I was pregnant, I started wearing those circle band-aids over 'em like pasties, just to dim the glare.

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    1. Yeah, grenade vagina! Woohoo! That is not good news about kegels not helping you. I'm still gonna try but will have reasonable expectations. Oh and my stomach is going to look horrendous for the rest of my life. Runs in the family.

      I was not expecting constantly erect nipples but again GOOD TO KNOW. There are so many things no one tells you.

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    2. There's another important thing re: pee. I know you are going for the epidural, and they will put in a Foley catheter so you won't have issues with peeing (and they kindly wait until you are numb to do that part). If you are laboring for a while before the epidural (which you may be because first labor and progression and all), pee at least once an hour. There is some evidence that the urinary slippage afterwards gets worse if you don't pee while you are laboring. It will probably annoy you, but it's worth it. (I think part of it is genetics, too...I don't pee when I jump or sneeze, and neither did my mother or grandmother after having the beebs).

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    3. Good reminder! I'd heard this somewhere but promptly forgot.

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  12. LOL.....you ask some funny questions! No one cares about the pubic hair, trust me I am on number 2! But if you prefer you can go for a wax, I did and had no issues. Moving forward...you also have loose and saggy skin to look forward to. Which is what I am dealing with at the moment actually. I am looking for something that will help that problem. I have come across a few sites like skin tightening and saw a unique product, but I am not sure if it would really work. What are your thoughts?

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