Wednesday, August 07, 2013

I stink

I smell.

Like, not continuously, and not despite showering or anything. But what basically happens is if I perspire even a little -- and mind you, I'm pregnant, and it's summertime, and I have two words for you: maternity pants -- something bad happens.

It takes about an hour, but my sweat turns into something that smells like a cross between dirty feet and burning charcoal. And it's making. Me. Insane. Because I don't normally stink. And if I do, I don't smell myself. The fox doesn't smell its own hole, as my dad likes to say. But I smell it. Oh, brother, do I.

Really, I should be showering like three times a day to prevent this. But my current modus operandi is to just suffer through it until, by the end of the day, I am just straight up pissed off. It can pretty much ruin my mood.

This is one thing I never realized about pregnancy -- that you don't feel all beautiful and clean and lovely and like a glowing Earth Mother all the time. No. You feel like an oozing, overheated manatee. Who stinks, and probably has bacne.

Just tell me the B.O. goes away after the baby's born. Please.


  1. Maybe you've always been stinky and just didn't realize it until you got Pregnancy Nose. ;)
    It'll most likely go away once you give birth. Most things acquired during pregnancy do.

  2. Yes, it should go away. Hormonally, your life will change dramatically as soon as you deliver your placenta, and this current cocktail is probably causing this issue. I'm sorry! Fair warning: many women, starting a few hours after delivery, will have carazy sheet-soaking sweats when they go to sleep (prolactin cocktail). I've never noticed those being stinky, and they will get better as your body adjusts, but that may happen for a bit.

    1. Really, really looking forward to the sweating. I know I will have it because my life operates according to Murphy's Law.

  3. I wasn't stinky. But I was sweaty. And even more sweaty after I had the baby. For like three weeks after my babies were born, I sweat under my sheets until the sheets, pillowcase and my hair were soaked. Freaky. I guess it's your body's way of sweating out the excess fluid. So bizarre. Pregnancy is a freakshow.

  4. Whenever I got engorged, I could smell it. However, the smell didn't bother me half as much as the burning need to have my breasts emptied.

  5. This is probably the greatest thing that has been revealed on the Internet, and the comments only make it that much more amazing. So you smell like feety charcoal, you're going to deliver this sack-of-ooze placenta like a baby itself, you're going to soak the sheets with sweat for weeks, and your body is just generally full of fluid. And yet you're married and I'm single.