Friday, July 05, 2013

closer every day


Now that the whole pregnancy announcement thing is out of the way, I plan to carry on blogging about whatever strikes my fancy. Which is probably going to be about more pregnancy stuff, truth be told. Because growing a person in your body is super weird and all-consuming. Today I'm 20 weeks along and my son is said to be the size of a banana. I just don't know. All these fruit comparisons creep me out a little bit.

By the way, thanks to everyone who left a comment or sent a message. It feels great to finally be here, and I loved seeing people come out of the woodwork to say "Woohoo!"

So, pregnancy. A gift, yes? A life-altering experience. We all have different, unique experiences with it. My neighbor, for example, is two months ahead of me and never had a lick of morning sickness. I know, guys. And then she's also kept her figure really well. I watch her walk her dog in the evenings -- she strolls past briskly while I'm experimenting to see how much cheese will fit in my mouth.

I had morning sickness 'round the clock up until almost four months. As soon as I thought it was gone, it would rear its ugly head again. There was no real getting rid of the nausea, only small moments of "I feel less terrible than usual!" It was a delicate balance of sleep, small/frequent meals, the right amount of protein, and the right amount of water. Any wavering in any one of those areas equaled instant misery. That's not to say I ever barfed, because I never did. Vurped for sure, and gagged many a time while brushing my teeth, but never barfed. So I'm super lucky because I know it could have been loads worse. One friend had to be on three anti-nausea meds for her entire pregnancy! Some people get hit really hard.

Other delightful side-effects: insomnia and migraines. Still dealing with those. Leg cramps are a new one. I've had crazy dreams the entire time. I had great eyelashes for the first couple months but now they're stubby again. My hair seems the same as it's always been, other than that it grows really fast ... everywhere. Same for my nails. There've been a few acne flare-ups and Oh! Constipation. That's a fun one.

This all reminds me of the few months when I was not pregnant and Christina was and she'd call me and say: I'm not complaining but .... As people who've struggled with infertility we're supposed to cherish every symptom. But that's easier said than done when you're forced to curl up on a park bench for a nap during your lunch hour because you're so nauseated and exhausted, as she once did. Frankly, I have no idea how any woman gets through the first trimester while holding down a full time job. I was unconscious for most of mine.

So now I'm in what's considered the "honeymoon period" of pregnancy, which is funny. But I do believe this will probably be the least physically uncomfortable period of time for me. I still get around pretty well although I get out of breath pretty easily. I'm showing a little but not a lot (and not in that adorable tiny bump way -- mine is more like a trapezoid) so people are still afraid to ask if I'm pregnant (but I must say it's fun to watch people steal glances at my stomach when they don't know I'm looking. Pretty sure they all think the aforementioned cheese has really done its damage.). I've begun to feel the baby kick, which takes this craziness to a whole other level. He seems most active after I eat. 

Mainly what I appreciate about the second trimester is that I really feel pregnant now. In the first trimester I just felt ill, and terrified. Early blood tests had me on edge and I was so traumatized by everything I'd been through in the last three years that I had a complete meltdown in my acupuncturist's lobby when I was about 4 weeks. It's way out of character for me to cry in front of strangers, but I started crying and couldn't stop for about an hour. I'm so glad the early worrying is behind me now. I won't feel completely comfortable until the baby is out, but each week gets me closer to that.


  1. I can only imagine how hard it was not blogging about this the entire time, having spent a year wanting to tell the entire world that I was getting broken up with. My sister is about where you are in your pregnancy and says she forgets she's pregnant half the time and nonstop freaks out about the idea of GROWING A PERSON the other half. I want this to be awesome for you, so keep stuffing that cheese in.

    1. Exactly! It's really hard to focus on anything else when something so big is happening in your life. And growing a person is some serious sci-fi shit.

  2. And then the person comes OUT and it gets terrifying in an entirely different way!

    Again, so excited for you. And yes, I don't think it ever gets less weird that women grow people inside their stomachs, and then push them out their giners and feed them with their boobs. MAMMALS ARE SO WEIRD.

    1. Yes! Keeping a tiny human alive is lot of pressure. And what if he doesn't stop screaming for like a year?

      Mammals really are so weird/gross.

  3. I think we had similar forms of morning sickness, which is a silly name for something that lasts 24/7. Glad to hear you are feeling better!

  4. Ugh. Morning sickness. I remember that. Except mine was timed with my evening commute home. On BART, where it's smell-0-rama for the pregnant people. OY.

    At least I hope you've got your energy back for a bit during the 2nd trimester. That was always my favorite time during pregnancy.

    Also! Get a prenatal massage, and make sure the spa you go to has a special table for your belly. Because then you get to lay face-down for about 45 minutes and it is SO fabulous. (I still smile when I remember that feeling.)