all the thiiiiiiings

Your way random list of things I command you to read today:

• I really, really rarely recommend music, but I really, really liked this song by Keren Ann when I heard it on Nurse Jackie the other day. So then I listened to the rest of the album and was, like, meh. But this one song is the coolest.

• And, by the way, Nurse Jackie is so lame without Dr. O'Hara.

• Folks who've followed me for a while know of my involvement with the Tired & Stuck website with fantastic fellow bloggers and friends Christina and Libby. Well, Christina has some amazing news. 

• Which, when I was told in person some weeks back: Major waterworks, dudes. I've wanted this for her, desperately, for years, so for it to finally happen really blew my mind. 

• Have I told you about Orphan Black? It's a pretty good sci-fi show on BBC America, if you're into sci-fi. (Here's the trailer) One actress plays like nine different people, which sounds hokey but is actually quite awesome.

• So, as we already knew, processed meat will straight up kill your ass. Which is sad because it's so, so delicious.

• All right! Movie time. Here's what you need to go ahead and watch on Netflix streaming (or whatever):

1. Jeff, Who Lives At Home. So good. So not what I expected. Jason Segel, Ed Helms, Susan Sarandon. Segel plays a slacker 30-year-old who lives at home and smokes too much pot. One day he gets a sign from the universe, and the rest is history. It ended up being really touching. 
2. Safety Not Guaranteed. A group of young journalists investigates a man who posted the following want ad: "WANTED: Someone to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before." Starring Aubrey Plaza (Parks & Rec), Jake Johnson (New Girl), and Mark Duplass (The Mindy Project).
3. Bernie. Based on the true story of a friendly funeral director (Jack Black) who befriends a very mean old lady (Shirley MacLaine), and then things go a little wrong. I believe I saw the Dateline version of this movie as well! 

• The quote of the week is: "The difficult choice is usually the right one." 

•  For San Joseans looking for good food to eat: Dry Creek Grill. It's really good! Standouts were the crab cakes, bleu gem salad, and fresh baked cookie for dessert ... 

• So, we are all working our way rapidly through Arrested Development, right? The new season is genius! I need to rewatch it when I'm finished just so I can catch all the stuff that's going on in the background, since everyone's story overlaps. Really intricate storytelling. 

•  I keep running into young people who pretend there is no way I am in my 30s. And then, when they reveal their ages, I'm always surprised that they're even younger than I would have thought. Lookie here, young 'uns. Don't patronize an old lady. Just give me my iced mocha and I'll be on my way. 

• I'm also working my way through Behind The Candelabra. So far, so faaaabbbulouuuuus! 

• Oh! Last but not least, The Bachelorette started last night. I'm not writing recaps this time, but I have chosen a top 5. They are: Nick M (who reminds me of Ricky Shroeder), Will, James (even though he has a big neck and appears to start drama later in the season), Brian, and Dan. If forced to pick a No. 1, I'm going with Nick based purely on instinct. I haven't read any spoilers. Tell me your top picks!

• Also, magicians are right up there with clowns. If I were Desiree and a magician showed up, I'd have security remove him immediately.