Tuesday, March 05, 2013

The Bachelor, Ep. 11: The Women Tell All

Well, first of all.

I saw a spoiler. Totally by mistake. It was on Extra. I sure didn't expect them to blurt out, "Sean is rumored to be engaged to ....!" Two weeks before the finale. I guess they don't care because they're on NBC and The Bachelor is on ABC. Anyway, I tweeted something rude to Extra. I don't think they really cared, though.

So that's that. But let's get to the Women Tell All, which was, horribly, two hours long. Completely unnecessary.

For starters, I really hated Tierra's dress. I actually had a dream about this dress last night. I was driving past a construction zone, and a woman working construction was wearing it. So weird.

Tierra is still spouting her Tierra-isms. "I light up in a room ... I bring this joy and smile..." What the eff is she talking about, you guys.

Kacie B is like Oh hell no

 AshLee and Lesley were like, Which of us hate Tierra more? Hm.

 And then Tierra's like, Whatever, I'm engaged now. 
To her ex-boyfriend. 
Presumably not the dead one. 
His identity remains a mystery. He's said to run a lucrative business in Vegas. 
I'm thinking there is no way this person really exists.

 And then we had to talk about how dudes don't like Sarah because of her arm situash. 
Which is sad.

 And then Desiree was like, Yeah, my brother is a dick. 
Actually, she didn't say that, but she should have.
What do we think of her hair? She used to have bangs.

Then AshLee and Sean talked, blah blah. 
It's too boring to even talk about.

The outtakes were the most entertaining part. Here Sean popped a cork off a champagne bottle and the champagne is pouring onto his leg. This amused me greatly at the time.

Parting thoughts: 
  • I don't think Sean is engaged to either girl, despite Extra's "spoiler." This is because oftentimes at the Women Tell All or Men Tell All, Chris Harrison will confirm that the contestant is, indeed, engaged. This time he did not. He did say it's a dramatic finale. No idea. Plus there's the preview with the note Sean receives ... I think it's from Catherine, and I think she's saying Adios and she was the one he was gonna pick. Just a guess.
  • Who do you think the next Bachelorette is going to be? I happen to know because I googled it. Not too surprising, but maybe a little boring. 
  • My husband says: "I guess I haven't really been paying attention to this show!" This is as he's watching the final few minutes where they show Sean frolicking with Lindsay and Catherine. He thinks it's anyone's game.  (He only watched about a third of the season, often leaving the room in disgust. He's a smart man.)
  • Next week's finale is THREE HOURS LONG. Please god let it be mostly flashbacks I can fast-forward through. 
Episode 10 recap: The Fantasy Suite Dates
Episode 9 was Sean's bullshit "tell-all" 
Episode 8 recap: Hometown Dates  
Episode 7 recap: YOU CAN'T TAKE MY SPARKLE  
Episode 6 recap: You're gonna wife that?   
Episode 5 recap: If I could be someplace else ...
Episode 4 recap: "Tierra-ble"  
Episode 3 recap: Let's take this to the next level    
Episode 2 recap: I'm a vegan but I love the beef   
Episode 1 recap: Who does this, indeed


  1. I just Googled the next Bachelorette and now feel like I need to make a Hartsock/heartsick joke. I also just accidentally wrote Hardcock. It's been quite the day.

    1. omg they totally called her hardcock in school. You just know it.

  2. confirms my suspicions that your husband is indeed very intelligent.