Wednesday, February 13, 2013

bullet bullet bullet points

  • I just started the Paleo diet. As Sweet Brown would say: Oh lord jesus.
  • Here is something that is helpful in Opposite Land. When a doctor tells you to lose weight and 1) doesn't suggest how 2) doesn't acknowledge any weight you've already lost 3) doesn't acknowledge how difficult it is. 
  • Vitamin C. I've been reading all kinds of stuff from various sources about how it will cure us all of everything. So let's all take it.
  • My book didn't make it to Round 2! This is not surprising since it is a terrible book. But I'm going to publish it anyway. I swear. Yep.
  • I decided what I'm giving up for Lent, even though I'm not Catholic. I'm going to give up looking at my phone while I'm watching TV with my husband. This sounds stupid but it's not. 
  • Have you ever wished there was something that would hold your smartphone or ipad while you're on a long flight? So you don't have to hold it yourself and get hand cramps? So you could, like, watch videos and stuff? Check this out. My friends invented this genius contraption. If I'm friends with smart people, does that make me smart by association? 
  • I said Oh lord jesus, it's a fire. 
  • Sugar is the root of all evil. 
  • Actually, I have many talented friends. This might make a lesser person feel insecure about her meager talents, but not me. Nope. 
  • In fact, one friend who is a talented photographer recently hauled a mess of gear to my house a a few weeks ago so we could shoot my head shot. Since I'm sort of a big deal. 
 This is what I look like now.
  • And actually, this same friend wrote an entertaining ebook about how to take decent photos if you're an amateur. It was enlightening and I laughed out loud many times while reading it. Worth a look if you're trying to take pics that don't suck.
  • You apparently can't eat beans on Paleo. But you can eat bacon. Makes sense.
  • Basically, I wish I had a different face. And also, would it kill me to have my teeth whitened? Sheez Louise. 
  • I finally removed miscellaneous piles of junk from the bed in the spare room and made it up with sheets and blankets and stuff and now it looks exactly like a place you would hold someone hostage. I'm in the running for homemaker of the year.
  • I am leaning away from the MFA thing this week. I am fickle.
  • Gotta go. There's a blank word document calling my name. 


  1. Giving up things for Lent, "Ain't no one got time for that!" ;)

  2. Oh lord Jesus, it's a fire.

    I. Am. Dying.

    The other night I was catching up on a show I really love. Loving the show. So good. So good. And yet I couldn't help compulsively checking my phone. Thereby missing my beloved show.


    Ain't nobody got time for that!

    1. I do this All The Time and it makes me NUTS. And I'm not missing anything special on my phone! Maybe a new cat video on Vine? I'm really curious to see how abstaining goes ...

  3. My husband came back from Afghanistan on a Paleo kick he picked up from "the Special Forces guys" and drove me BATSHIT CRAZY lecturing me on what to eat. My eye gets twitchy at the mere mention of it. But I buy into some of it and wish you luck.

    David Foster Wallace got burned out on his MFA program and look where it got him. As a novelist, I mean. Not...dead.

    1. I'm a little surprised special forces guys would be on the paleo diet!!

      I do think there are plenty of good writers who don't have MFAs. I'd like to be one of them!

    2. I think you can be one of them!

      According to my husband, the special forces guys were super into nutrition. And according to me they were freaking HOT.

  4. • All of those books that beat yours are terrible. Both because they're not yours and because they're called things like "Spookygirl".

    • That mount is genius. I was watching "Girls" on an iPad on my lap last night and was annoyed. Both because I probably deserve a Patrick Wilson weekend, too, and because there was no good way to prop the thing up. I need a way to attach that contraption to my lap.

    • Yer face is purty.

    • I've been low-carbing (and then not and then again) for a few years now. The beans news is a surprise to me.

    1. - Very kind of you to say, haha... Although I was actually impressed with some of the book titles! Perhaps that's where I've gone wrong, since mine sounds like a porno: Bigger.

      - Actually, that's a great idea. Patent it!!

      - Thanks. ;)

      - OH GOD I HATE LOW CARB DIETS. And yeah, taking beans and cheese out of the equation leaves what? Meat and vegetables. Yak.