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• I love that being "Sweet Browned" is a thing now. Like, when you don't got time for that. I also love that Sweet Brown is now doing dentist commercials.

• I just started the Paleo diet. As Sweet Brown would say: Oh lord jesus.

• Here is something that is helpful in Opposite Land. When a doctor tells you to lose weight and 1) doesn't suggest how 2) doesn't acknowledge any weight you've already lost 3) doesn't acknowledge how difficult it is. 

• Vitamin C. I've been reading all kinds of stuff from various sources about how it will cure us all of everything. So let's all take it.

• My book didn't make it to Round 2! This is not surprising since it is a terrible book. But I'm going to publish it anyway. I swear. Yep.

• I decided what I'm giving up for Lent, even though I'm not Catholic. I'm going to give up looking at my phone while I'm watching TV with my husband. This sounds stupid but it's not. 

• Have you ever wished there was something that would hold your smartphone or ipad while you're on a long flight? So you don't have to hold it yourself and get hand cramps? So you could, like, watch videos and stuff? Check this out. My friends invented this genius contraption. If I'm friends with smart people, does that make me smart by association? 

• I said Oh lord jesus, it's a fire. 

• Sugar is the root of all evil. 

• Actually, I have many talented friends. This might make a lesser person feel insecure about her meager talents, but not me. Nope. 

• In fact, one friend who is a talented photographer recently hauled a mess of gear to my house a a few weeks ago so we could shoot my head shot. Since I'm sort of a big deal. 

  

 This is what I look like now.

• And actually, this same friend wrote an entertaining ebook about how to take decent photos if you're an amateur. It was enlightening and I laughed out loud many times while reading it. Worth a look if you're trying to take pics that don't suck.

• You apparently can't eat beans on Paleo. But you can eat bacon. Makes sense.

• Basically, I wish I had a different face. And also, would it kill me to have my teeth whitened? Sheez Louise. 

• I finally removed miscellaneous piles of junk from the bed in the spare room and made it up with sheets and blankets and stuff and now it looks exactly like a place you would hold someone hostage. I'm in the running for homemaker of the year.

• I am leaning away from the MFA thing this week. I am fickle.

• Gotta go. There's a blank word document calling my name.