Wednesday, December 12, 2012


  • I am really bad at blogging now. (Now, you ask? Psshh.) I suspect I have finally bored even myself. 
  • Which begs the question -- should I review the new Bachelor coming out in January? I think we both know I will. All two of us. I mean, there's going to be a one-armed contestant. I will be there, wine glass in hand. 
  •  I've been cleaning my house for a few days and have finally figured out why it is that professional house cleaners will always clean your home better than you ever will: It's because they see all the disgusting crap you've become used to. Your eye doesn't even see it any more. Here's a tip. Sit on your kitchen floor and look at your cupboards or fridge or dishwasher at that level. Tell me it's not caked in bits of food and cat hair (or whatever. Baby vomit or such). 
  • My husband and I have reached a point where we want nothing for Christmas, but still feel obligated to get each other gifts. If we were smart we would just go to Hawaii for Christmas and call it a day. 
  • My niece turns 1 on Friday ... There are no words. 
  • There are a few new trailers out for a few movies in the works. Here are the links if you're interested: Man of Steel (featuring Henry Cavill as hottest person ever), After Earth (starring Will Smith & son Jaden. Post-apocalyptic space movie? I am there), Lone Ranger (Armie Hammer as the Lone Ranger -- I sort of have a disgusting little crush on him. And for all you other ladies, Johnny Depp as Tonto. Seriously), and lastly Pacific Rim (looks frigging terrible but two of my boyfriends are in it -- Charlie Hunnam -- Jax Teller! -- and Idris Elba. Drool. I'm there).
  • The other day I had the opportunity to use the "Go home .... You are drunk" meme when I posted a link on Facebook to an article that contained a video of the most jacked up driving I'd ever seen -- 13 minutes of a video of Russians driving like maniacs. No one seemed to appreciate my usage of "Go home Russia. You are drunk." So I questioned my husband and he seems to believe I am among a select small group of people who would ever understand what that meme referred to because I spend entirely too much time on the Internet. Point taken, dear!
  •  I had a couple of cavities filled last week and yeah dudes, it sucked, but my dentist is like ... I don't know. He's just so hilarious that I almost didn't give a shit when his drill hit my nerve and I wanted to punch him in the face. He spoke like Christian Bale's Batman for about five minutes straight ("Don't swear to God. Swear to me!") and by the end of it I was laughing so hard I was crying. 
  • Damn, bullet points are hella easier than actually writing an entire, cohesive post.
  • I'm still doing kickboxing, and have to say it's still one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen. I really can't watch myself in the mirror or I start to giggle. And forget about watching Christina -- practically sends me into hysterics. Also, I am really so old. My knees always hurt afterward. I disagree with aging. 
  • Oh, I've gone gluten-free this week! Isn't that fascinating? So far I feel slightly more awake. Normally I feel like I could sleep for three hours at any given point in the day. Just constantly exhausted. I don't actually think I am gluten-sensitive, but would like to wean myself off of processed grains (as well as dairy and sugar) and this feels like a good start. 
  •  If I don't have a kid by next Christmas, there will be no Christmas cards. It's totally thankless and more and more people aren't even sending them out. I think Facebook has sort of nixed that whole thing -- used to be you hardly ever heard from certain people, and now you "hear" from them every day on the Internet. 
  • I believe there are 12 shopping days left until Christmas. I know. You hate me a little right now, don't you? Me too. 


  1. I'm all for the mutual big gift for Christmas - the hubs and I have done this several times over the years. This year - a new tv, since we still have a big ol' ugly box in our living room, and the one in the bedroom became possessed and crapped out. I say go on a lovely Hawaiian vacation in lieu of buying crap you don't really need, and make all of us jealous of your winter tan. :)

    Oh, and I became a crappy blogger a long time ago. (Or was I always one? Probably.) I still look forward to yours!

    1. The TV is a great idea. I belatedly remembered I really want a Roomba. I don't think my husband feels as passionately as I do, but still. Would be a great co-gift.

      Thanks for the compliment! I look forward to yours, too!

  2. 1. I don't even know why you're pretending to question the possibility of NOT blogging about The Bachelor. I feel like you're my hotline to all that is wrong in the world of beautiful single people with too much time/ arrogance/ stupidity on their hands. You can not leave me hanging.

    2. Armie Hammer is a MEGA.BABE-ALERT. His family also comes from bigtime money. Two of my favorite qualities in a man.

    3. Sometimes my knee hurts when I'm driving. I beat you in the "Almost Dead" category. At this rate, Armie Hammer is never going to go out with me.

    4. You're so right about Facebook ruining Christmas. In fact, I think Facebook has ruined everything. There's no element of surprise when people get another dumb family photo in the mail. With that said, we're still totally sending out a family photo this year. Because Eric and I are artsy and narcissistic like that.

    1. 1. Done and done.
      2. He's really yummy, if a bit dumb-seeming.
      3. I'll have to think of more ways that my body is rotting from the inside out ...
      4. Facebook should die in a fire. It is The Ruiner. I love that you're sending out a family photo! I've received ZERO of those this year, which is a little odd.

  3. there really someone with only one arm on The Bachelor? How did I miss that!?

    1. YES!! One of the girls was born with only one arm. She will probably be my favorite.

  4. I LOVE your Bachelor (et al) recaps!!!!!

  5. C'mon. There are at least 4 of us who hang on your every word. Please, give us some credit.

    OK, in fairness, I do not read your Bachelor posts. But I read all your other words!

    Also, I send Christmas cards, and hardly any of my friends or family members do. Not sure why I do it. Because I'm better than them? No, probably because it makes me feel a little bit better about the fact that I buy next to zero Christmas presents. Like, I'll get my parents a book (in which my writing was published, usually) to share, my sister and her husband a box of instant grits to share, and my niece and nephew each a book. Plus boyfriend's package of underpants, and I call it a day. That's, like, half a day's worth of shopping. I haven't done any of it yet.

    1. Make that FIVE! See? ^^ lol

      Shopping for adults for Christmas is a total drag. I think it's really for kids. Thankfully I can spoil my niece this year.

    2. Agreed. I think we mostly do it so we can continue to get gifts.

      Also, I meant to say: I had never heard of the go home, you're drunk meme, but I thought it worked perfectly with the link despite not knowing the meme. SO THERE.

      Granted, I'm not Russian, soo ....

  6. Your comment about the drunk Russians reminded me of an incident in my hometown a few decades ago. A Beetles fan had a personalized license plate in DATRPRS in honor of the Beatles song "Day Trippers". However the reference went over many heads as people were calling in to the local police with complaints about a man driving around with a license plate saying "date rapers". Ha ha ha! If he'd been a blogger, that would've been a great post. Of course, maybe he was a crazed, brazen perv and the day trippers was just a story he'd concocted if he got caught.

    1. When I saw that I totally thought "date rapers" too. :)