Thursday, December 20, 2012

not impressed

Long story short, I accomplished only four of the 33 goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year.

It's almost enough to make me want to abandon the practice of setting resolutions. Almost.

I've already mentally beat myself up over it, and now I am extra motivated to make amazing things happen in 2013. Next year is the year, you guys. Big things all around. Shit is gonna get done.

I've reviewed my goals and narrowed them down to 11 large and obtainable targets. This is the year I will prove to myself I can do anything if I want it badly enough.

Do you guys watch Survivor? If you do but haven't watched the finale yet, read no further.

Basically, there was a contestant named Malcolm, who arguably should have won. He'd been a very strategic player. He's young and fit and was winning most of the challenges. Until one day he didn't win a challenge, and the other contestants promptly voted him out. They knew he was a huge threat who could have won the million dollars.

Jeff Probst asked Malcolm how he was able to perform so well, on par with former legendary contestants like Ozzy and Stephanie. And he said it was because he has "swagger." Whenever he set out to do something, he'd say to himself: All right, here I go. Let's do this. He never told himself it was impossible or too dangerous (Until the last challenge when he totally choked).

Now, sure, Malcolm is a muscular, handsome 25-year-old, and I remember when I was a hot 25-year-old, too. A lot of shit seemed possible. What has changed since then? Not too much. Just being older, which makes me more cautious. And I'm married, but to someone who supports whatever I want to do. I don't have any kids, so that's not an issue.

It's time to remember I'm still young and vital and capable of amazing things. There's no reason I shouldn't also enable myself to have swagger, as cheesy as it sounds.

Do you have swagger? Tell me how you do it.


  1. My take: I think swagger is finding the ability to go with the flow. Too many type-A personalities out there who think they need to be in control and it drives them insane. It's actually when you are relaxed and at ease with situations that you are the most in control. Granted - planning/making lists is not a bad thing. But, worrying about the minutia of every detail is not a good idea in general. I think you should focus on the 4 things you accomplished, and be proud of yourself. XOXO

    1. I think part of the reason I insist on making resolutions every year is because I'm the opposite of Type A. It can actually be a problem. In the past I've found it helpful to consult my resolutions list throughout the year so I can re-focus, but I didn't really do that this year. All that said, I do think focusing too much on the failure of goals is unhealthy, so I'm just moving past that and on to next year's goals. :)
      BTW I thought about you after I wrote this post because this seemed like a very big year for you. You got a lot accomplished!

    2. This was a big year for me in general, but I'm dealing with the fact that next year could be better or worse. Both are possibilities. What if this year was so epic that next year absolutely sucks. Or maybe this year is payback for a terrible 2010-2011.

      All good things for you in 2013, friend!!!

  2. The thing I always liked which I heard at some point is that everything is defined by how you react to it. It really shifted my thought process, and showed that you don't have to see everything as the end of the world, or as something negative.

    For example when a waiter gets your order wrong, or you get a dent in your car, you can say to yourself OMG THESE ARE TEH MOSTESTS AFUL TINGS. MEYE LIFE IZ BADZ. Or you can just say: eh Shit Happens. Address the issues and move on.

    Coming from me it's funny that I value that point of view, but I hope that you've noticed in my aging I've gotten closer to the goal of changing my reaction to things. I think you have too.

    You've hit a lot of goals on your list and you should be proud of your accomplishments.

    1. You've definitely mellowed with age. :) I agree about reactions being important -- it's on par with my whole pebbles/boulders thing. Is this a pebble or a boulder? Most things are pebbles. I try not to dwell on my failures, but you know there's no one I love beating up more than myself.

  3. Here's to finding our swagger, and to a far better and more productive 2013! :)

  4. I rent my swagger. I have an option to buy it, but I'm not sure I'm ready.

  5. I've found that the only way I have swagger? Fake it until it starts to feel real. Faking it feels awkward as hell, but eventually, it starts to feel more natural (until I give it up again and have to start over at some point).

    Anyway, here's to 2013 being full of swagger :-)