Friday, November 16, 2012


I appreciate when the internet comes up with my posts for me and I just have to fill in the blanks. Thank you Sarah for the idea!

1. Today I ruined a manicure (that I paid for)15 minutes after it was finished because I just NEEDED to break into a bag of chocolates.

2. I am terrible at keeping house. The worst. It's just that every time I spend more than 20 minutes on any household task, I start to get really pissed off because I keep thinking about all the awesome things I could be doing instead. Like watching a Real Housewives marathon. 

3. I haven't been to the dentist in, like, 10 years. I know, dudes. I know. I have an appointment about a week from now, at which I fully expect to hyperventilate while being told I have 64 cavities and need 14 root canals. 

4. I never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever wash my car. Ever. (I realize I am beginning to sound like a truly disgusting human being)

5. I think physical newspapers should freakin' die already. I know. I am a hypocrite, because I was a reporter for several newspapers. But facts is facts, man. The only people who would miss the real newspaper are hella old people.

6. I haven't cut my hair in god knows how long and now I look like a witch. I think it's maybe been two years. I don't even know who I am any more.

7. I believe I was about 100 percent funnier and smarter ten years ago than I am today. Now I am old and boring. 

8. I CANNOT STAND IT when people back into their parking spaces. It makes me inexplicably ragey. 

9. If I could get married all over again and do it exactly the way I wanted it, I'd elope. 

10. I am extremely judgmental. It's a problem. That said, I will rarely let on to someone that I am judging the hell out of them. Being two-faced: I haz it!

Ok, that's it! Feel free to hop on the bandwagon and fill out your own confessions ...


  1. I eff up my manicures all the time. Who can wait that long before reaching into their purse or coat sleeve? I can't. I got shit the rifle through, man.

    I'm ridiculously neat. So,I don't have your problem. I might have the reverse of it. The neatness has grown to epic proportions. I mean, I joke about having OCD-lite all the time, but the truth is, it isn't really "lite" anymore and I'm kind of exhausted.

    I think the more stress I experience in life, the more I feel compelled to rearrange my daughter's doll house furniture and wipe down every surface in my house with Windex. I don't Windex the doll house. But now that I've typed that, I kind of feel compelled to do it.

    1. The ladies at the salon keep trying to bully me into a shellac manicure but those look like they take forever. The upside, I guess, is they dry immediately and last for at least three weeks. Meh.

      Oh god you would have a conniption if you could see my house. The whole thing needs to be windexed three times, top to bottom.

    2. Shellac manicures are bomb -- as long as the person knows what they're doing. ALSO -- they file the top of your nail to rough it up a bit, so if you have thin nails, might not be the best thing.

      And can Mandy_Fish come to my house and clean. I'm hosting a birthday party in 3 weeks and I can't keep my house clean for 3 hours. I'm in serious trouble.

    3. Ew yuck I cannot handle much filing on the top of the nail ... That's a no-go.

      I think you guys have earned a housekeeper. You should totes hire someone to come in biweekly! Life is too short to clean your own house.

  2. Oh my God, we are the same person!
    2. I am the worst housekeeper ever. My house isn't disgusting, I just don't really care if it's immaculate or even... neat.

    4. I never ever wash my car, I let the rain do it. I wash maybe once a year at the end of winter to get all the salt off.

    6. I rarely cut my hair, basically because I can't afford it.

    8. This is my absolute biggest pet peeve, people backing their cars in. Drives me absolutely bat shit CRAZY. Do you really think there will be a sudden traffic jam or mass evacuation of our apartment complex that you need to be in the ready to just pull out? You take more God damn time backing in and parking than you would backing out and leaving! Also, you're car isn't that great, nobody cares about it, so fuck you. (you can tell I'm passionate on this one)

    Ok, so those are the only points we really agree on, but still enough to make us related.

    1. My house is borderline disgusting. There's just no point in denying it. I did finally cut my hair! Yayyy what a relief.

      People who back in their cars are demented and deserve to be punished.

  3. My boyfriend is a parking spot backer-inner. Blog post reply forthcoming.

    Also, I would miss actual newspapers.

    1. Ok now I need you to tell me WHY he backs in. Dear god, WHY.

      Physical newspapers going extinct would be sad, but I feel like at this point it's a broken model. Ten years ago I would have disagreed completely and had long drunken arguments about it, but now I see it. It's just a matter of time before they're gone.

    2. Really? You don't think it's like radio and TV, where they're different but still exist?

    3. And, yes. I really am going to blog about this. There is a reason he does it.

    4. I think it is different than radio and TV because radio and TV don't produce a physical product and are able to stay afloat solely on advertising. Newspapers can't. I could see them making it work if they really focused on online stuff though. There are a few newspapers who are even getting paid subscriptions to work online -- NYtimes, WSjournal etc.

      Heading to your blog now. :)