So for starters, Emily kisses this guy -- her co-host on Sex With Emily -- and it's gross and wrong.
Amy gets a text from Lewis, ribbing her for getting on his case about not texting enough and asking her out later in the week. She hopes Lewis is going to help her break her year-long dry spell, if yaknow what I mean.
Julia meets a happiness expert who has kind of icky facial hair.
"In theory I love writing. In reality, it tortures me." YES. I GET THIS.
Then she talks about how she always wants to be perfect and the expert tells her to be "real," just like all the other experts she meets do.
And then he touches her feet? I am so confused.
And then Julia's friend comes over and says she doesn't think it's a good idea to take the latest guy she's interested in -- Andrew -- out on a "prom" date for their first date. I concur.
Princess Parking Only. "The real me is a prom girl," she says. "If a guy can't handle this, he's not gonna be able to handle me anyway." She may have a point.
This is Emily's friend Ruby, who gets the award for best quote of the evening: "Do you want to still be making out with polyamorous queer dudes when you're 50?"
Annnnd here's crazy in her actual prom dress from high school. You know, I can still fit into my high school prom dress, too. Because it was black spandex!! I was a real style icon back in the day, lemme tell ya.
She forces Andrew to wear this tuxedo, eat at a food truck, and go to some dive bar. She calls herself "Cinderella on crack," and once again I concur. Andrew is shockingly good-natured about the whole thing.
Then she commands him to kiss her (as is her wont), and he complies.
"With other guys, I'd try to ease them into my personality. But with Andrew, I didn't ease him into shit." No kidding, honey!
And then Amy and Lewis break it off. The problem was he was too young and immature. She acted crazy around him and he responded like a dude in his 20s, which he is.
- Emily goes to therapy.
- Amy gets into a girl fight.
- Julia ruins everything with Andrew.
It's highly addictive.