Random things

• I keep having dreams in which I'm yelling, and everything is frantic. It's irritating. Here I am, just wanting to dream about floating on cotton candy and feathers, and instead I'm having a screaming match with my cat.

• Do you like America? Then buy a sweatshirt or t-shirt from this company. Even though it seems to cater only to men (which I have to say: dumb. Maybe they'll get around to it. In case they were unaware, women are purchasing powerhouses). They're based in San Francisco. Americans make their stuff, and it's high-quality, durable stuff. My husband bought a zip-up hoodie and I was so impressed, I wanted one, too. Alas -- I have a vagina. 

• I bought an electric tea kettle. Because I'm going to quit coffee (I know) and I want to make drinking tea as convenient as possible. 

• The following description appeared today on a listing for a home in my neighborhood: "Wonderful neighborhood with superb schools. This charming home have love, care a improvements galore! double pane and bay windows, French doors, cluntyr style gourment ktichen, new bathrooms, newer roof, central heat & air. copper plumbing, finished garage, extra storage, R.V parking plus 300 sq. ft. bonus enclosed patio. huge lot 1200 sq. ft. PGE easemnt added to lot total 7300 sq. ft."

• "cluntyr." J'adore.

• I just yelled "STOP" at my computer. 

• The Facebook detox is going well. It helps to know I'm probably not missing much. Stuff I do like to see on Facebook: Photos, descriptions of people's meals (I'm not joking), descriptions of ailments, funny links, NPR stories, hippie-dippy links to hippie-dippy tips on living to be 160 years old.

•  I've never been a real estate agent, yet I feel qualified to teach a class on listing homes. 1) Stage the house. 2) Hire a professional photographer for the photos. 3) Hire someone who speaks the native language to write a truthful description. 4) Ask for a reasonable price. 

•  I was reminded over the weekend of what hellacious traffic really is, during a visit to Los Angeles. Nothing tops it. Nothing. What kind of hellacious city has 24-7 carpool lanes, and 24-7 traffic jams? LA. 

•  Skunks and marijuana. Why do they smell so similar?

• I like that new HBO show, "Girls." That one girl -- the tall one who hates her boyfriend? Is NBC anchorman Brian Williams' daughter. 

•  I finished Swamplandia and ADORED it. That's a book I'd love to own (I read it on the Kindle). The problem with reading such a fantastic book is that it makes everything else I read (especially my own stuff) look like monkey shit. 

• There is so much cleaning that needs to be happening in my house right now. So much. 

• My niece has started rolling over! She's 4 1/2 months old. What a little fricking genius that kid is, I tell ya. She and I are true buddies now. At first taking care of her was like trying not to step on landmines, but it's gotten so much better. She's my little squishy munchkin.

• This is probably a good place to end this.