Friday, May 18, 2012

Nonsense



I mentioned this fitbit thingy I got a few posts ago, remember? It's basically a glorified pedometer. It tracks your steps throughout the day, tells you how many calories you've burned, how many flights of stairs you've climbed, yada yada. You sync up on the computer and measure yourself against your friends (I'm losing), and you can also input your meals and start a weight loss program.

Anyway, the idea is that you're supposed to walk 10,000 steps, or roughly 5 miles a day. I measured my standard walk -- only about 4,000 steps. On a non-walk day, if I'm just puttering around the house, not doing much, I'd be lucky to hit 3,000 steps. I went out for an hour-long walk, and it was only 6,500 steps. Craaaaaaaaaap.

Anyway, it's good to know there's a reason I haven't been losing weight. Hello! You need to move your ass more. Also: less wine and chocolate.

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I had a dream last night that I was having terrible stomach pains, so I went to my doctor. I was sitting in her waiting room, doubled over, as her snotty receptionist eyed me over his cubicle wall, and suddenly, I birthed a little African American baby.

My doctor emerged from some back room to assess me, and I was giddy. "I actually didn't know I was pregnant!" I found this hilarious. My doctor cocked her eyebrow. The snotty receptionist said I should've known because I sure looked pregnant.

Regarding the African American-ness of my baby, I blame the three minutes of a program I watched yesterday about obese women having babies. One of them was African American and she had the most adorable baby. I apologized to my husband, since obviously the baby wasn't his. But neither of us cared, in the dream; we were so happy about the baby.

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ohmygodiaminfacebookwithdrawal.

Seriously. Is it possible to loathe, and yet love Facebook at the same time? I haven't looked at it since April and It. Is. Killing. Me.

There is no question that on June 1 I will be back on Facebook, in full force. I need to know the mundane details of all of my friends' lives! I JUST DO. Related: I hate myself a little bit.

8 comments:

  1. Here's a mundane tidbit about me: I'm at a teacher faculty party being thrown by my mother-in-law. It's her last party as she is retiring this year. She bought her own going away gift.

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    1. What'd she get herself? And did Christina get new curtains for the bedroom?

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    2. She got herself an engraved, gold-plated clock that is enveloped in a clear glass. The inscription says: 'In appreciation of your 35 years in education." In her defense, she has been in charge of purchasing the gifts for years.

      And, yesh, Christina and her brother fixed the curtains in the bedroom.

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  2. i want a fitbit! i think i would have a rude awakening too. sometimes i park really far away from the store on purpose and im all "you go, holly, this is awesome" but in reality im prolly only adding like 100 steps, hahha.

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    Replies
    1. I've found a trip to the grocery store is usually worth about 1000 steps -- and I always park far away, too. :)

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  3. I can't believe I'm saying this (it just seems so overdone), but: I started taking spin classes twice a week a month ago, and, holycrapballs. That's a good workout. Not necessarily steps, but my clothes are already fitting better. Though, yes, I have also cut back on wine (SOB). But not chocolate. I buy the 70% dark and feel very entitled to my square in the evenings.

    And: Objectively speaking, I think black babies are generally 100 times cuter than white babies.

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    Replies
    1. Ah yes, the much touted spin class. I've been thinking about it for about 300 years. I might do it some time in the next eon.

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