Turns out, I am not altogether insane -- only a little. And I think if I am insane, it can be attributed to shitty sleep.
I just got this Fitbit device (whole other conversation for another time) that tells me how many times I wake up every night, and so far it's looking like I wake up EVERY HOUR, and often TWICE AN HOUR. I mean, it FELT that way, but you know sometimes you get up in the morning and you feel like crap and the entire night of non-sleep feels like some kind of blurry nightmare you maybe imagined?
It was real.
Also: I believe I have just solved the mystery of my chronic fatigue. I haven't been diagnosed with chronic fatigue; I'm just chronically fatigued.
Also: Let's bring back separate beds for husbands and wives! That was kind of cute and kitschy and everyone slept great, right? Heh.
And: I am going to buy blackout curtains. Eventually. I don't think it will help much, but it can't hurt. Also, a new pillow.
Do help me. I've started exercising. I don't watch TV in bed. I've quit coffee (and bread. A whole other sad story for yet another time). I wear earplugs every night. What's a girl gotta do?