Tuesday, April 12, 2011

A weigh-in (Or Hide Thy Face In Shame, Woman)

No, I didn't go on vacation or get breast implants or start lifting weights or get pregnant or leave my shoes on during the weigh-in this morning.

But I did gain 4.2 pounds in one week.

Which? Is a rather impressive gain, particularly considering I was "good" Monday through most of Friday, and then KAPOW, the weekend was here and it was cheese for dinner and wine, wine, wine, and last night I ate a cheeseburger and shared a hot fudge sundae and also? I am supposed to start my period today so I suppose I could blame some of this on water retention. Which would be a pretty good excuse if last month on the day I started my period I hadn't recorded a 2.6 pound loss.

I weighed myself this morning and then I ate the rest of the cheeseburger for breakfast. This week is kind of a double whammy of negativity, with the weight gain and the period (meaning another unsuccessful month of trying to conceive).

But, I was just waiting for my period to start so I could begin the diet that will probably kill me. Because what I am planning next excludes the following foods:

- carbohydrates (except fruit & vegetables)
- peanut butter. Which I currently eat every day.
- sugar, including chocolate.
- coffee
- dairy (God help me)
- alcohol

All of this is effective the moment my period starts. Except if I go on vacation, which I may do at some point in the next month. And also except for one meal on April 30, because that is when I am going to eat tiny sandwiches and scones and drink tea while I watch recorded coverage of the royal wedding. 

Also effective the moment my period starts is exercise, at least half an hour of it, every day, preferably vigorous.

Anyway. Because I gained 4.2 pounds this week, I now have to re-lose that weight, and then some, for a total of 40.8 pounds. What a freakin' bummer.

So, this week's item of clothing that I'm looking forward to fitting into eventually is my "More Cowbell" T-shirt. It's too tight, obviously. I just want to wear it to yoga. Is that too much to ask?


  1. Ug. Me, too.

    Do you want to hear what I'm blaming my unsuccess on??? I gave up coffee and cigarettes and booze. Do you now what coffee and cigarettes and booze help you do? In the morning? With a cup of coffee?

    I think that as soon as I drink enough metameucil that scale will start moving.

  2. Ahhh... Plugged up? I was having a bit of an issue in that department and started taking a supplement that has probiotics, which seem to help. There's always Activia. :-)

  3. Okay. I hate giving this woman props because she is the most boring white person on the face of the planet with a SEVERE OCD problem but Kath Eats Real Food really helps show you how to eat well and healthfully without driving yourself crazy with cravings. I mean...if you can get through reading her stupid blog without throwing your laptop at the wall.

    I kind of live to hate her but she might help.

  4. "Kath Eats Real Food" ... typing it into Google right now ...

  5. P.S. I just typed "Kath eats" and after Google guesses "real food," the next guess is "real food annoying" :-)))))))