Thursday, April 21, 2011

Five notches

Tomorrow marks five years of wedded ... weddedness with my adorable husband.

Bliss is the usual term, yes? But not only is marriage not always blissful, some of the stuff life has thrown at us in the last five years has been mind-numbingly, almost laughably terrible. Thankfully, we have had each other over these years to cling to like life rafts.

And it might just be because of what we've endured that we have found a new respect and admiration for each other, and a new desire to ensure the other is happy, at all costs.

A little while ago, my husband asked me how I would feel about him leaving his job to take another one, at one of these notorious Silicon Valley start-ups, doing exciting things for not necessarily much money, and no guarantee that things are actually going to work out. And, after a bout of nausea passed, I wholeheartedly urged him to do just this. 

See, he and I had been very lucky with his old job, at a company that went public and did rather well. Well enough for me to quit my job and pursue my own dream of being a novelist, for at least a little while. And he could stay at that job and be guaranteed a very nice chunk of change. What most people would do in that situation is stay at the job and collect their winnings and say thankyouverymuch, even if it meant that every morning when they opened their eyes, they felt nothing pulling them from their beds. The best word for what was happening to my husband at that job is stagnation.

So he quit.

As far as I know, we only get to live life once, and there are only a certain number of years we get to spend when we are not drooling on ourselves or someone else is wiping our butts for us, so what we feel -- my husband and I -- is that probably what will work out best for us is if at the end of our lives we can look back and say: My regrets are few. I tried and it was worth it.

And each time we encourage each other to take risks like this, it's frightening and exciting, and most of all it makes us love each other more. My heart grows in my chest each time I think about my husband's selfless encouragement of my dream, and each time I think of how happy and satisfied he might be in his new endeavor. It's more than I could have ever expected of marriage or life, even with the bad stuff.

He's more than I ever expected.


  1. Very sweet. Happy Anniversary to you both.
    Much love,

  2. Awwww. Very sweet. :)


  3. You two are fabulous. Happy anniversary and may much success come your way.

  4. Ohhh, barf! I like him. Even though I now know only next-to-nothing about him!

  5. I think we are living the same life, basically. ARE YOU ME?

  6. Thanks All!

    Kiala - I've wondered the same myself...