Thursday, February 17, 2011

Unfinished business

Chinese medicine tells me I am Stuck and Tired. This is from a new book I just downloaded yesterday, and no I'm not telling you what it's called because you'll just make fun of me.

Ok, it's called Making Babies: A Proven Three Month Program For Maximum Fertility.

So far there's a lot of talk about follicles and ovaries and luteal phases and all I can envision is the opening scene from Look Who's Talking, when the egg is hanging around in a fallopian tube and Bruce Willis and his buddy sperms are racing in trying to get to it first.

(By the way, for your own peace of mind, I wouldn't Google any phrases with the words sperm and egg. Also, there are an unfortunate plethora of freakish time-lapsed videos of pregnant women on YouTube that are making me reconsider my desire to spawn. Yeesh!)

Anyway, Stuck and Tired sounds about right. I am stuck and tired, and not just physically. My book - the one I'm writing? Talk about stuck. And tired -- well, the Circle of Lethargy has me.

So Making Babies recommends all kinds of stuff I'll be putting into effect shortly. Some are easy and some are difficult. For instance, it suggests I lose between five and ten percent of my body weight, which doesn't sound like much, but has proven to be nearly impossible for me to accomplish for more than a year now. Also, I should probably quit drinking caffeine and alcohol. Which pretty much blows.

Meanwhile I'm trying to figure out how to get out of my rut, professionally. Like how I just referred to myself as a professional? Professional loafer, maybe.

Inspiration eludes me.

Chinese medicine says I need exercise, soup and royal jelly, whatever the hell that is. I'm gonna go find out. Be right back.


  1. Royal Jelly has something to with bees, I think. It's a secretion or something. Awful and intriguing all in one.

  2. Yikes! Cut out caffeine AND alcohol?!? What are they trying to KILL YOU?!?

  3. It does sound drastic, doesn't it? Incidentally, I was drinking a beer when I read that.

  4. You can get it in capsules at cvs vitamin aisle. I got some for Jason when he was sick.

  5. I'M STUCK AND TIRED TOO! We should be book buddies. I am totally starting that program full force when we get back from Mexico. I am already adding in vegetables, and cutting out caffeine and artificial sweetner. Oh, and "gentle" exercise.

    Woo Hoo!

  6. Oh, no. Not you, too. Why, Lord, why?

  7. Shell - thanks! Will have to investigate...

    Libby - Totally ... see you on email...

    John - You poor, poor man.

  8. Also, if you're really into the Chinese medicine thing, you could try acupuncture. I went to s lady for back pain and asked her about a ton of other stuff -- for fertility she does acupuncture itself and a medicinal tea.

    She also knew that I had my gallbladder removed by looking at my tongue.