Monday, February 28, 2011

Now hiring: Monkeys to jump on a bed

I'm thinking that when the sales lady at the mattress store said the mattress we bought would be a little firmer than the one we tried in the store, she should have won the Understatement of the Year award. Balloons should have fallen out of the ceiling and stuff. Confetti, the works.

The much-yearned-for "plush" mattress we purchased and which was delivered to our home at 10:40 p.m. on Saturday night (whole 'nother story) is so "firm" that I considered sleeping on the couch last night instead. It's so firm that the first thing I did this morning was pull the mattress cover off to check the label. It says it's the same mattress we tried in the store, and yet it feels like I'm lying on a granite slab.

The sales lady says there is a breaking-in period. I'm hoping the breaking-in period only lasts the twenty minutes I'm going to spend stomping on that mofo today during my free time. Thankfully, we have 100 days to return this bad boy -- not that I think I'm going to last that long. I need my sleep. Not getting sleep makes me very angry.

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.


  1. you need that punching machine from the Tempurpedic commercial.

  2. What a crock.

    I'm sure the display mattress has been "tested" out for 2 years... Bitches!

  3. I totally do need that punching machine. I was wishing for it as I stomped around on that fucker yesterday.
    I do wonder how long those mattresses have been in the store, and what they've endured. I'm imagining sales people jumping around on them after hours. :-)