Let it be known that I, Erin, your resident madwoman, am hereby the recipient of a blogger award, bestowed upon me by beautiful blond Oregonian blogger, fellow flab fighter and Nickelback-hater McGriddle Pants (how can you not love her? McGriddle Pants? I mean, come on).
And the award is:
The LOL Award. McG-P takes issue with the phrase "LOL" but I've been known to toss out an LOL here and there -- just trying to keep up with the children, Mabel!
Now, I have to admit something shameful: This is my first award. I've had this blog since 2006 and this is my first dad-blasted award. Which is probably testament to my lack of Internet networking skills.
The way this goes is I tell you seven things about myself, if it is possible that there are seven things about me you don't already know. Here goes nothing.
1. I have a giant, painful greenish bluish bruise on my right shin that has been there for at least three weeks. What does it all mean? Amputation??
2. I am going to BlogHer this year. No, I am not a well-known blogger. But as Joy Behar says: So what? Who cares? *shoulder shrug* I'm going away.
3. I hate melon. ALL MELON. No, I do not like watermelon, goddamit, I told you I don't like melon, period. If the word "melon" is in the name of the food you are presenting me with, be assured I will not eat it. Amen.
4. Everyone in my immediate family works for a religious organization of some kind, and many of my immediate family's co-workers read this blog. I think they are just researching the enemy.
5. I listen to Chopin for about two and a half hours a day on most days of the week. Clears the cobwebs.
6. I have only ever pooped in a public restroom once. I have a deathly fear of pooping in public restrooms.
7. I have lived in three "renovated" garage apartments. As in garages that were renovated into apartments. I use the word "renovate" loosely. In case you're wondering what it's like to live in a garage: It's cold and small and bugs get in really easily. In summation: It blows major donkey balls.
Now what I am supposed to is bestow this LOL Award honor upon seven esteemed bloggers, whom I assume should be really LOLy. So I shall name the seven funniest blogs I read. Only a couple of them occasionally read my blog, therefore do not expect this chain mail to show up on their blogs. Likewise, if any of them do read this, they should not feel obligated to participate.
In no particular order (except for alphabetical):
1. East Side Bride. Yes, this is a wedding-ish site and I've already done got old and married, but this blog cracks me up. People write in asking all kinds of foolish questions and East Side Bride, whoever she is, answers with brutal honesty. One of my recent favorites: She tells someone: You realize you're being a total bitch, right?
2. Phronk's Scrapbook. I don't know where he finds this crap, but most of it is hilarious.
3. Run Bitches Run. Poor Ells. She just moved from Bend, Oregon to South Carolina and to say it's been a major adjustment would be a bit of an understatement.
4. Shallow and Very Very Single. An almost-30 San Francisco gal who goes by "D" on her blog and hilariously relays her drunken adventures. Not for the church ladies.
5. Sassy Curmudgeon. New Yorker Una LaMarche talks about her comical relationship with her husband, pop culture, and other funny stuff. One of my favorites: Text messages from her sister.
6. Things I Like To Eat (And Other Nonsense). Yes, she writes about things she likes to eat, but she also writes some pretty chuckleworthy stuff about her life, such as a recent favorite of mine, when she discussed her colonoscopy. We all know there is nothing funnier than butts, buttholes, and poop.
7. Tickets for Two. Lacie is a flight attendant based in Washington, DC. She has the most uproarious stories about unruly customers and her husband and has recently taken up creating her own hysterical illustrations.
That's it for today, kiddies! Toodles til Friday!