Wednesday, January 12, 2011

An unfamiliar sensation

At this point, my husband is losing weight just to piss me off.

He gets up in the morning, weighs himself, and announces his weight. Lots of times, lately, he'll be down another pound, to the point that he's now lost more than 20 pounds. From quitting gluten.

I have also quit gluten, but my weight hasn't budged an ounce. My husband informs me last night this is because I am a serial snacker (not to be mistaken for cereal snacker). So I graze too much during the day. Which is totally true. And sad.

Tummy not like to be hungry. Tummy get very mad when tummy not have food in it.

I've mentioned I won't be dieting this year, because diets are evil ideas from the devil. Every diet has an equal and opposite KAPOW fat blast to the butt.

But I do need to lose weight, or my husband will end up weighing less than I do, and that is a horror I can't endure. He's not close yet -- I think I've still got a toddler between his weight and mine -- but give him another couple of months and he'll probably have lost the weight.

I was realizing last night that in order for me to lose weight, sometimes I am going to have to be hungry. Between meals, say. Or at bedtime.

Tummy not approve.

And also, some form of movement, aka exercise, will probably be necessary. This is all a bit abrupt. Change is hard. Who moved my cheese?

Cheese sounds good right now. Is it lunch time yet?

13 comments:

  1. I have always found it incredibly unfair that men just think about losing weight and it magically happens. Women, on the other hand, have to suffer greatly to lose a single pound. My hubby has decided to go back to the gym too, which means he will immediately lose 10 pounds, which will piss me off a tiny bit. Ok, a lot. I do not like it when the hubby is thinner than I am. Too bad we do not live in the same city - we could pretend to diet and exercise together (i.e. meet at Starbucks instead of taking a walk). : )

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  2. just go out and buy new clothes. very important: buy clothing that's one size too big. then go to husband and be like "whoa. look at all this weight i'm losing. and i'm totally not even trying. this is so crazy."

    following my advice will result in 1)new wardrobe, 2)none of that booshet about cutting out foods, 3)bragging rights.

    it's a win-win-win sitation.

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  3. Mel - RIGHT? Sheesh. Wish we did live in the same city, and now I totally want starbucks.

    YLIDHAG: Spoken like a skinny person. ;-)

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  4. Try being married to my husband. Same thing - what I cook for us keeps him fit and trim and me fat. Do you remember when he used to have a botty and be all thick-thighed? Then he started hanging with me and apparently I eat "healthy" because he lost a ton! Ugh. I think I'd need a tape worm or a serious illness to ever weigh less than him. Neither of which I ever want in my life, so I'm just going to have to learn to be happy.

    PS Bob's class tonight? You know you want to! ;)

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  5. Katie - first of all you are out of your mind if you think I am going to Bob's class with only 2 hours of mental prep time. The man is a sadist. It takes at least two days of mental girding. Secondly, I do fondly recall Russell's lovely woman buttocks. Now he's buttless, like my husband. Good going. >:<

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  6. Hahahaha. You said it girlfriend. Bob is a sadist and Russell did have a lovely woman buttocks. Hahahaha. I'm laughing almost as hard as I did after reading "Tummy not like to be hungry." Another truth.

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  7. My husband can lose weight just by breathing more. I have to cut off limbs.

    I feel your pain. And how the hell are you living with gluten? I love gluten.

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  8. I laughed so hard at your references to "tummy." But "tummy not approve" was the best. I will be using that. Sorry, tummy.

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  9. Ok, serious question since I am not a nutritionist. Is there such a thing as a healthy snack. I just remembered a yummy simple dish that's a fat burner but don't ask me to explain because I'm horrible at remembering things but I do remember it was yummy. Baked potato with olive oil, topped with feta cheese. It's pretty good. Not sure if it's gluten free.

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  10. Try doing some behavior replacement. Whenever you feel like snacking, get some exercise instead. :)

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  11. Oh boys. Well, really, people with crazy metabolisms in general, but boys, mostly. They make me angry.

    Now, I know you probably weren't looking for a tip, especially one this lame, but I heart weight watchers. Especially now that all fresh fruit is zero points. This means I can snack all day, I just have to keep my other (ie. bread) carbs down. Totally doable! And I can still eat cake sometimes!

    OK. Back to it. Cheeeese.

    Also: Did you see that movie, with Jeff from Curb and Sarah Silverman? "I just want someone to eat cheese with," or something? I didn't think it was that good. Which made me sad.

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  12. Libby - if I had to cut out potatoes & rice, too, I would be in a bad way. And occasionally I do go bread-crazy and run to Panera for an asiago roast beef sandwich.

    Trisha - that sounds good! And healthy!

    D - Body not like to exercise. Body get angry when body have to move.

    Ells - So far I'm trying to keep my calories in check, which yeah, mostly means my carbs. Def been trying to eat more fruits/veggies. I'd heard about the new WW program and am intrigued, but I think that breaks my "no diets" rule. I didn't see IJWSTECW, but I am sad that it sucked. Shall now remove it from my Netflix queue.

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