Tuesday, January 04, 2011

To: Donga. From: Doo Ball

We have a tradition going on five years now of writing anything but each other's names on our Christmas gift tags. It makes us happy.

Here are my husband's gifts to me.

To: Neck. From: Gluten. This is a reference to the crick in my neck and his gluten sensitivity. We're falling apart over here!

 To: Good Gift Wrapper. From: Retarded Gift Wrapper. This one is self-explanatory.

To: LaGuerta. From: Det. Batista. This is a reference to the TV show Dexter. I also did a Dexter gift tag with different names, and each of us did so without knowing that the other had also done so. This makes us good Newlywed Game candidates. Can you be on the Newlywed Game after four and a half years of marriage? Does the Newlywed Game still exist?

 To: Master. From: Slave. I was too lazy to go through the effort of rotating this image.

 To: Michelle. From: Barack. Ha. HA!

Ok, now here are my gift tags. I always think mine are funny until I see my husband's. He's such a one-upper.

To: Haole. From: Spunkmeister. Haole is a derogatory Hawaiian term for caucasian. We spent much of our honeymoon in Maui muttering "goddamn haoles" to each other and then laughing hysterically. Yes, we understand this makes us insanely dorky. Spunkmeister doesn't refer to anything in particular, I just couldn't think of anything better.

 To: Daddy. From: Murray & Simon. A gift from our pussies.

 To: Pooks. From: Dooks. A couple of occasional pet names.

 To: Dexter. From Rita. I was so proud of this one.

 To: Javelina. From: Sneezy. So, we took a trip to Sedona a few years ago, which is the first time we learned of the existence of javelinas, and at first we thought it was pronounced the way it looked, with a hard "j." But of course it's pronounced hav-a-lee-na. As soon as we learned this we started calling each other javelina, in the same voice we used to say goddamn haoles. Sneezy refers to the way I'm sneezing all the time.

To: Donga. From: Doo Ball. We have taken to calling each other Donga Doo Ball or sometimes just Donga, for short. This is from an Over the Limit clip we saw on The Soup, and it is the funniest damn thing ever. If you've never seen it, visit this link, and you are welcome.

You so fine. You got pretty eyes.


  1. This made me laugh. You two must have fun at home :-)

  2. OMG. I need to get offline, but I saw the title of your post and couldn't resist reading, and I'm so glad I did! Love the whole post. Great fun on the silly tags, but donga dooball is AWESOME. I am so in love with the soup and with joel mchale. My sisters and I spent a lot of time saying, "Oh, here go hell come" and "chicken tettrazini" and laughing our heads off during the break. Donga dooball is right up there too!! HAHAHahah! Thanks!

  3. Good lord (Donga Dooball).

    Man, now I'm wishing that I had put to Don love Betty. Dammit. The best we can do is to husband love wife or, more frequently, to monchichi love booger.

    You guys are far more creative and entertaining.

  4. V - we do. :-)

    Leslie - I've been saying "here go hell come" since the second I saw that clip! I LOVE it with all my heart. Me? Calvin Tran, working with people? Oh, here go hell come. Dear Lord, thank you for Calvin Tran. Amen.

    Katie - I belatedly thought of Mad Men tags, then kicked myself.

  5. aw wonder what dexter got rita ;)

  6. Oh yes - how 'bout to Pete from Peggy. Heehee. We've got to start watching Dexter now!

  7. Favorite: Good/Retarded Gift Wrapper