Monday, November 08, 2010

Skipping the scale

The bathroom scale's batteries are dead and it's driving me crazy.

Why doesn't this scale harness the power of heavy people stepping on it and charge its own batteries? Stupid piece of crap.

I've been trying to decide whether it's a good thing or a bad thing that I can't obsessively weigh myself every day, and now that I've just used the word obsessively to describe the manner in which I weigh myself, I think I've decided it's a good thing.

I got weighed when I visited the doctor's office the other day. I wasn't going to look. I stood on the scale and stared at the ceiling and then I looked down at what my weight was, anyway. It looked about right. No dramatic changes. So why the hell do I need a scale anyway? To make myself feel like crap every day? I know whether I've gained or lost weight. My jeans tell me so.

A woman I used to work with gained a lot of weight after she was fired. One of our mutual friends remarked to me I think I saw Jane walking her dog but I wasn't sure it was her because she was much bigger than the last time I'd seen her. 

Sure enough, Jane (not her real name) told a different friend before they were going to meet for dinner one evening: I have to warn you -- I've gained eighty pounds since you last saw me. I look different.

Today I told a friend I haven't seen in four years that I've gained thirty pounds since I last saw her. It's nothing new, at least for me. I packed that weight on almost immediately after I got married and people started dying and I coped by eating and drinking.

They say if you weigh yourself every day you are less likely to gain weight but we got this enormous scale as a wedding gift and I weighed myself every day and could only watch in horror as the number grew larger. I don't know why we registered for such an enormous scale -- I think the thing would tell you if you weighed up to 400 pounds or something and neither my husband or I are in danger of reaching that weight any time soon. I think we gave that scale away. It was an imposing force in the bathroom. It was like I AM AN ENORMOUS SCALE. STEP ON ME.

We bought another scale later. It tells you your body fat percentage, to add insult to injury. And apparently it needs new batteries.

I think I will let the scale stay dead for a while. It might be healthier for me not to think about it for a while.


  1. I just weighed myself for the first time in months to find that my jeans were only telling half the story. Sure their fit is uncomfortably tighter than normal but I didn't realize it's because I've gained back the 20 lbs I lost at the beginning of the year, plus 2 extra pounds for good measure. Guess I should be stepping on our scale more often.

  2. UGH. That's frustrating. And that's something I don't understand about myself. I stay the same pant size within about a 40 pound weight range. Always thought if I lost hecka weight I'd go down like 3 pant sizes but not so much.

  3. The Ladies (and you know who they are) broke my scale about 3 weeks ago. At first I was mad. I weigh every day and then go through enough self-punishing self-talk to make me want to eat the house. I have to say it's been very freeing not weighing in every day and I haven't gone berserk and I'm not beating myself up.
    Give yourself a break, wait a few weeks before replacing those batteries and enjoy a little freedom.
    Love, mom

  4. Let me just say I would have never approved of the scale as a wedding registry item.

  5. You may have just helped me invent something.

    A self-charging scale that is powered by a few pumps of a pedal that you depress 5 or 6 times, by way of a magnetic electric generator. Surely, the charge needed is small enough that you'd be able to run the scale for 10 seconds with that much of a pre-charge.

    I need to patent and package this, immediately. I'll give you 20% of my revenue.

    Anyhow. I do the same thing. Only, I use the freight scale down in the mail room for where I work. I'd been doing it for the past 7 years... and the number has only climbed. The same mail ladies watch me as I step on, and they quietly shake their head in disappointment, as I've only put on weight since I've worked here. Hmmm...

  6. I loathe scales, and find that the more attention I pay to them, the more I seem to gain weight.

    Of course, my recent weight gain is due to the wee alien, but it still gives me hives. Am I gaining too much this week? Now too little? *sigh*

  7. Do you want to hear dumb? Before I was married, I was a workout maniac. I went to an OBGYN also before we were married because I was so worried about not being able to get pregnant. Advice: stop hard core work outs and gain 10 pounds.

    Your can only imagine what kind of recipe that gave me. Why didn't I try to get PG before I gained the 10 pounds. Sigh!

    I wish I could/would have only gained 10 pounds.