The bathroom scale's batteries are dead and it's driving me crazy.
Why doesn't this scale harness the power of heavy people stepping on it and charge its own batteries? Stupid piece of crap.
I've been trying to decide whether it's a good thing or a bad thing that I can't obsessively weigh myself every day, and now that I've just used the word obsessively to describe the manner in which I weigh myself, I think I've decided it's a good thing.
I got weighed when I visited the doctor's office the other day. I wasn't going to look. I stood on the scale and stared at the ceiling and then I looked down at what my weight was, anyway. It looked about right. No dramatic changes. So why the hell do I need a scale anyway? To make myself feel like crap every day? I know whether I've gained or lost weight. My jeans tell me so.
A woman I used to work with gained a lot of weight after she was fired. One of our mutual friends remarked to me I think I saw Jane walking her dog but I wasn't sure it was her because she was much bigger than the last time I'd seen her.
Sure enough, Jane (not her real name) told a different friend before they were going to meet for dinner one evening: I have to warn you -- I've gained eighty pounds since you last saw me. I look different.
Today I told a friend I haven't seen in four years that I've gained thirty pounds since I last saw her. It's nothing new, at least for me. I packed that weight on almost immediately after I got married and people started dying and I coped by eating and drinking.
They say if you weigh yourself every day you are less likely to gain weight but we got this enormous scale as a wedding gift and I weighed myself every day and could only watch in horror as the number grew larger. I don't know why we registered for such an enormous scale -- I think the thing would tell you if you weighed up to 400 pounds or something and neither my husband or I are in danger of reaching that weight any time soon. I think we gave that scale away. It was an imposing force in the bathroom. It was like I AM AN ENORMOUS SCALE. STEP ON ME.
We bought another scale later. It tells you your body fat percentage, to add insult to injury. And apparently it needs new batteries.
I think I will let the scale stay dead for a while. It might be healthier for me not to think about it for a while.