Friday, November 12, 2010

Damn good chili

I know I'm not supposed to post today. I'm supposed to be joining in the Friday blogging boycott, the origins of which elude me and which I have decided to boycott. That is right: I am boycotting the boycott. Say what?

I've always been a maverick. A rogue, really. A rogue-ish maverick.

Enough of that.

I made this chili, and you wanna know who's recipe this is? It's MINE bitches!!

In truth, this recipe includes a combination of ingredients/techniques from a couple different recipes, plus a dash of madness from me.

There is nothing in this chili that you have never seen in chili before, so you're not gonna be like, No, she did not just put sweet tarts in the chili. It's just stuff I like in chili, made the way that makes chili taste good. You may not agree with some of it, and that's OK. But then you will not get to try my chili, and you will be sad.

 This recipe begins with a chopped bell pepper

And a few chopped stalks of celery. Don't be lazy, like me. Cut the leaves off your celery. They serve no purpose in chili.

Then, the onion. This is the part where I start to alternately hold my breath and whistle to keep the onion fumes from gassing me out.

I really have onion cutting down to an exact science. I can dice one up in about a minute flat. But I still never win.

 Damn onions win every time. This is me with onion tears running down my cheeks.

It ain't chili if it ain't got garlic. Frankly, you could probably throw about four cloves in there, and it'd be just about perfect.

Here's some beef in a pot.

I love this dutch oven. My father-in-law gave it to me. My only beef (pun one-million-percent intended) with it is you can't put its lid in the oven. It's Martha Stewart's brand. Why, Martha? Why you gotta mess with me like that?

Cook yer beef up nice and brown. And I'm going to say something now, and you're going to need to sit there and take it. What I'm going to say is: I didn't drain the fat off this meat. So there!

Next, you shove everyone and their mother in the pot. That is a tablespoon of sugar you're seeing up there on top of the kidney beans.

I'm going to tell you something else, and there's nothing you can do about this either: I didn't drain and rinse the beans! It's all part of what makes this chili magical.

 That there is chili powder. You're gonna want it.

 And this is a wee little secret I learned from Pioneer Woman, who (whom?) I adore and worship. This is masa. Ya take yer masa. Ya put it in a bowl.

 Ya pour some water in the bowl.

Ya stir it around, and then you shove it in your chili and if you don't believe me that this will take your chili to a whole 'nother level, you are living a sorry life, my friend.

Here's the chili, all cooked up. Put it in a bowl, slap some grated cheddar and chopped green onions and sour cream up in that business. Butter some warm corn tortillas. Eat. Repeat.

Here's the recipe.

Erin's "You-Can-Make-It-Different-If-You-Want-To-Live-A-Sorry-Life" Chili


1.5 lb ground beef
3 celery stalked, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 onion, chopped
anywhere from 2 to 4 cloves of garlic, chopped
1 28 ounce can stewed tomatoes
1 6 ounce can tomato paste
1 teaspoon sugar
1 cup water
2 15 ounce cans kidney beans
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 tablespoon cayenne pepper
2 teaspoons cumin
3 tablespoons masa + 1/4 cup water
salt and pepper to taste. Especially salt!


1. Brown yer meat in a pot.

2. Stir in celery, bell pepper, onion, garlic, tomatoes, tomato paste, sugar, water, beans, chili powder, cayenne pepper, cumin, and salt & pepper. Bring to a boil then reduce to a simmer for 1 hour. Taste it. Do a dance. Add salt or pepper as needed. Mix masa and water in a separate bowl, then add to the chili and cook for another 15 minutes before serving.

You may enjoy your chili topped with grated cheddar, chopped green onions or sour cream. Serve with buttered and warmed corn tortillas. Or don't. It's your funeral.


  1. a couple of things for you...

    1. get yerself some onion goggles girl!

    2. damn yer chili looks good!

    3. you CRACK MY SHIT UP!

    Happy Friday Rogue-Maverick Style

    my word verification is weako, just thought you should know (don't ask me why)

  2. Masa!? Never thought it of it! Will definitely try it next time. I made chili today but it didn't look as good as yers.