Friday, October 08, 2010

The story of how we decided we hated the bed

So we got this bed when we got married.

The Sleep Number bed! The bed that will save your life! The bed that everyone will covet to the point that they will scratch out their own eyeballs in envy!

And my first clue that this was not the bed for us should have been that my parents recommended it.

God love 'em.

My parents slept on a waterbed for, oh, 30 some odd years. Have you ever slept on a waterbed? Sleeping on waterbeds is comfortable if you enjoy being perched at the apex of a giant plastic bubble all night long.

How my parents managed to stay married for 30 years while sleeping on a waterbed is completely beyond me.

Eventually they decided they needed something that was better for their backs, so they bought a Sleep Number bed.

The heavens cracked open and shone down upon their bedroom. The angels sang. My parents slept blissfully and raved about the new bed.

Cue me and my husband purchasing a Sleep Number bed a couple weeks after our wedding. At first it was bliss, particularly compared to the craptastic piece of broken crap bed we'd been sleeping on before - a double bed of dubious origin that sagged in the middle.

Fast forward four years and we hate the bed.

On the off chance you're not familiar with Sleep Number beds, the gimmick is that you and your partner can sleep at your own "numbers." You pump air in or let air out to get it to your desired firmness. Unfortunately this means that between the two sides of the bed, there's this uncomfortable lump that you can't lie on. You must lie on your side of the bed. This does not encourage romance.

Add to that the fact that the air pockets seem stabby, now, even on a low firmness setting. My husband complains that it feels like someone is pushing up against him, and his side of the bed looks broken - the side of it is pooching out and looks deflated. I'm convinced I would be more comfortable sleeping in a hammock.

So in conclusion, there is no purpose to this post other than to advise you to do your homework if you're looking to make an expensive purchase. I found out four years too late about all of the people who are extremely dissatisfied with their Sleep Number purchases. My husband and I have made a number of mistakes by going solely off the recommendations of friends and family members for goods and services, and the only people we can blame are ourselves.


  1. I have to admit, I'm always curious about those TempurPedic beds, since they look so darn comfortable. But then I lay on Hubbs' pillow -- by the same brand -- and I think it would drive me nuts.

    I overheat easily, and I can just see myself wanting to pour ice water all over my side of the mattress in the summer.

  2. You should totally write them a letter.

    I slept on a sleep number for a very short period of time, and really, I found it next to impossible to decide on a number that I could stick with during the entire night.

    Then there was that time where I slept on a LoveSac for a good 9 months as I was bedless... hmmm...

  3. So funny! Was just thinking about you guys and your sleep number bed last night! We too hate our mattress and, given the current state of my back, desperately need a new one. So Russell said, do some research and I immediately thought, I wonder what the Kelleys think of their bed these days. Yes, I did think this. Makes complete sense about the nomansland in the middle! Check that one off the list.

  4. I has to break down, or else how will they sell more sleep number beds? I want one of those beds that helps you sit up. And a Jazzi...

  5. Shell - TempurPedic beds creep me the hell out.

    Daniel - Dear Sleep Number: I realized four years too late that I hate my bed. Please refund my money?

    Katie - Yeah, don't do it. What I really want is a McRoskey bed. Read this:

    Libby - exactly.