Friday, October 29, 2010

Intentions

I have this beautiful friend with this skin you would not believe and she and the Internet are not friends so it's OK if I talk about her here.

I've known this girl since I was 8 years old, so since I'm 32 now I guess math says I've known her 24 years, even though that's impossible because only old people know each other for that long.

Moving right along.

I only get to see my friend every so often because she's one of these overbooked types with too much going on. Some people love that shit, but me -- I need a lot of time to sit and stare out of windows. She teaches special ed kids and is getting her master's degree, so that right there pretty much puts the kibosh on her social life.

This woman is astounding, and the way she lives and the things she intends to do -- well, I wonder if it all would have been the same if her brother hadn't died. He collapsed three years ago at age 30, dead instantly of a heart attack. To say that his absence equals nuclear war aftermath in his family even three years later is an understatement.

Shortly after her brother passed, my friend explained to me that she wasn't sure anymore if God existed. If he did, the only reason for him to take her brother would have to be that he was needed more in heaven. And she couldn't see how heaven could need him more than she did.

She decided to buy a nice car. She'd been driving something old and sensible for years, and she wanted something racy, bright and convertible. Life is too short to drive a shitty car, if it matters at all to you.

She just bought a condo. She's not waiting for Prince Charming to come along and create her fantasy family for her. She is building the foundation herself.

She plans to get a dog and name it Potato.

She is wearing braces in preparation for major jaw surgery. I'm going to have cheekbones! she says. She already has cheekbones and if she gets more beautiful she will wreak havoc on the men of San Jose, and enjoy every moment of it.

She is living with such intention, with so many goals. It reminds me of how we are when we are younger, in high school, with things yet to accomplish. Many people, even at our young age, are resting on their laurels and seem to be waiting for death. My friend seems to have decided death can kiss her ass and she's going to make as much happen for herself as she can before her time comes.

She inspires just by being. I leave her and feel renewed energy, reminding myself of my own goals.

5 comments:

  1. Goals! What are those?

    And I've been postponing surgery to remove my impacted wisdom teeth for FOUR YEARS. Maybe if I hand out with your friend she'll inspire me to take care of my shit yo.

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  2. Hahaha! Your comment just made me crack up because I could totally hear your disbelief that he would be so confused as to mistake the restaurant for a trashy swingers club.

    Then I came here and discovered this great post and it made me want to get out of my pajamas (I've decided that I'm officially depressed today) and go out and do some living. So, yay for you! Glad you were passing out blog love today!

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  3. Wow! Thanks for this inspiration! I think many of us are stuck somewhere between "living for today" and "planning for the future," until something happens to push us one way or the other. I'm definitely on the fence most days, but certainly grateful not to have had an incredible tragedy to make me decide.

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  4. Wow - I want to be like that. Thanks for a great post!
    XOXO

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  5. Jesus... age 30 is too young for a heart attack. Although oddly, I sometimes get the feeling that that's what I'm destined for as well. I'm acutely aware of this thing beating in my chest, and it mostly makes me uncomfortable.

    Anyway.

    I'd say she's got it mostly right with the living. A teacher once posed to me a question about what the meaning of life is, and how do you get it. I decided that life isn't worth living unless you can take as much as you can from it, greedily if you have to, and make your own happiness happen.

    I don't exactly live by that, but it's helped me make a lot of my life decisions... such as quitting my job, buying a motorcycle, having a beer in the shower, and getting tattoo'd.

    And I'm cool with most of the decisions I made. I'm going to come out with some scars, but it won't matter much anymore when I'm dead. Live like there is no tomorrow.

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