Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The only way is the wrong way

So, word up. I'm gonna be talking again about my weird no-job-havin' ways again today, so if you haven't figured out by now that I spend maybe 50% of my days figuring out how to be an artsy fartsy novelist and that I'm often writing about the challenges this involves (Oh, poor me!), well then this is a bit of newsflash.

Sidenote: You know how when you're a kid you have kind of a vague idea of how it's all supposed to work out? I thought I would graduate college in four years, obtain my illustrious job as a newspaper reporter (HA!), get married right after that, pop out two kids and that would be that. So, it happened to take me 13 years of on-and-off work to get my degree and of course everything else I've done was behind "schedule," too. Which doesn't bother me in the least, it's just ... funny.

Sidenote Dos: The other day a friend said something to the effect of It's all downhill from here. She's married, has a great job, has two great kids and feels that there's not much else to look forward to. Death is imminent and all that. Which is true, in a way, except there are lots of things to look forward to, if you prefer ignoring Impending Doom. There are sunsets and trips and good food and friends and family and wine and let us not forget Fixing Up The House, which is a never-ending project. So, just keep getting new carpet and counter tops to delay death, is what I'm saying.

Back to the point of this essay. My point, weak as it may be, is that I am figuring it all out. Got it?

I am figuring out my modus operandi. And it has little to no relation to the M.O. many people have suggested. But I am an artsy fartsy novelist - I am two clicks away from really eccentric jewelry, OK? (I wanted to dye my hair purple on my first day as a No-Job-Haver, but my husband forbade it).

So all this basically means is that I am not on the same schedule as the Job Havers. I mean, it is 11:40 a.m. and I have not showered. Which might be a little scandalous to you. But I'm not, like, drunk or anything. I'm just sittin' here in my PJs. Bein' artsy.

Now truthfully, does this bother you? Because this is what I do every day. I get up around 8:30, eat breakfast, blog, take a shower, then writewritewritewritewritewritewriteagonize. Occasionally (does anyone else have a problem with the word occasionally? I can never spell it right on the first try. Sumbitch word.) I get distracted by blogs, because there are so many of them, and so many good ones. But I honestly consider my time spent visiting and commenting on blogs a form of networking. Some day this will all pay off, mark my words.

So that is all. I sometimes do not wear makeup. I often do not exercise. My brain is doing something different than I used to do, but my body is still in the same position it was in for many hours of the day for many years: Seated at a desk, typing.

The solitude suits me -- my husband often jokes that I hate everyone, so being alone all day is the best possible scenario for me. That's an exaggeration. I love many people, and many other people aggravate me. Nowadays I take them in small, tolerable doses and I'm sleeping much better. This probably makes me sound like a dick, but trust me, I am actually delightful in person. Tee hee.

Adieu for today, I'm off to continue doing it wrong. Til tomorrow...

(Post script: You have til midnight Thursday to send a photo of your janky, dirty, weird, funky, zany, wonderful, tiny, huge or just plain odd microwave to So far there are only 2 entries and one of them is going to make off with a $10 gift card to Starbucks! Mmm.... caffeine. For more information visit my post about the Hideous Microwave Contest & Giveaway.) 


  1. I long ago gave up on "the right way" to do things. I find that one of the many benefits of working from home is that you are not required to get up before the sun, put on makeup, be nice to others you really can't stand because you work with them, or leave the house in general. I too, have not yet showered, and usually don't until sometime after lunch. This is only an issue if the UPS guy comes to the door early in the day with something I actually have to sign for, which is rather embarrassing, especially when it happens on a regular basis (I do work, I swear!).

    I changed jobs after only a year as a reporter (so much for that journalism degree), lived with my now hubby for 6 years before we got married (scandalous), and do not ever plan to have kids. Now I work from home in my jammies, and occasionally drink before 4 pm. Again, I gave up long ago on the way people (i.e. parents, snobby co-workers) expect us to live our lives. I don't think we have to have it "figured out" today or ever. I could be wrong, but as long as we are happy and can pay the rent, isn't that all that matters? :)

  2. Melissa - I think we have it all figured out, actually. How blissful is sitting in your comfy pajamas with coffee breath until noon? Unexpected visitors are definitely an issue, though, hahaha...

  3. OH! And journalism? Can suck it.

  4. Ah yes, perhaps we are the ones who have it all "figured out" after all! Oh, and journalism can totally suck it!

  5. As a mom, I think showers are highly overrated. If I want to shower, I have to get up by 7:30am. Not going to happen especially since I can be up every 2.5 hours. Your life sounds good to me!