So here is a confession that I didn't think I would share with you, but I have a problem with holding back and also, I see little harm in sharing this, other than the fact that I will always be unable to surprise you.
And actually, when I tell you this, you are going to roll your eyes and then go read the news or return to your spreadsheet or whatever it is you probably ought to be doing.
My confession is this: I just finished this book, Get Ready to Get Pregnant: Your Complete Prepregnancy Guide to Making a Smart and Healthy Baby.
Firstly, I am not pregnant. I am getting ready to get pregnant, as the book states, and what I realized after finishing this book is the following:
1. I am not ready to get pregnant.
2. I should have read this book 14 years ago. Literally.
3. I took a test in this book that was supposed to grade my readiness for pregnancy, as far as my health is concerned, and I scored 40%. The good news is that I could have scored in the negatives, which is what happens when you are an alcoholic whose husband beats her and who smokes two packs a day and sometimes snacks on two-day old cat turds out of the litter box.
4. Toxoplasmosis. I love that word. It is not a good thing to ever get, but say it with me: Tockso-plazz-mosis!
5. My baby is probably going to be schizophrenic or autistic, or both.
6. If I can get pregnant. There is a 15% infertility rate for women my age. Oh, my poor, aging ovaries.
7. I should have probably stuck with my New Year's resolution to lose weight.
8. Everything in my house is going to kill me (or the fetus. Mmmm, fetus). My water, my food, my bed, my cats, dust mites, the paint on the walls. We are doomed.
9. I have the eating habits of a 19-year-old male.
10. This book sucked.
So there you have it. I might not be ready to get pregnant, and Dr. Lu would probably put me on a diet for two years before he would be OK with me conceiving, but my plan is to blithely disregard almost everything he says.
Things I will take to heart -- eating my fruits and veggies, eating organic/antibiotic-free/hormone-free food, drinking filtered water, not sniffing car fumes or eating cat poops, cleaning my house, and going for a walk every now and then. Also, I am scheduling a dental appointment (GAHHHHH) and will be getting a flu shot.
Dr. Lu can pretty much suck it in regards to everything else.