Friday, August 27, 2010

What do we want? VAGINAS! When do we want them? NOW!

All right, look.

I ran dry for a couple of days and I'd like to blame my husband for that because he's been trying to be helpful in regards to the (non)popularity of my blog and thus went on and on about what I am doing wrong and what I should do better and what he did not say but what I heard was:

Your blog sucks. 

Which is OK with me, actually, because I kind of already knew my blog sucked? Duh. But then when I tried to think of something inane to write about per my usual fashion, I just couldn't be bothered. Why should I bother?! I wondered, with fairly typical drama.

I don't think my husband understands my kind of blog, these chicky blogs where all we write about is how someone was mean to us on the bus or how we're stressed out about making Thanksgiving dinner or whatever.

You mean all they want to read about is vaginas? he asked.

Yes, I nodded. Vaginas.

He'd been comparing my blog to other blogs he reads, and no offense ladies, but he does not read any of your blogs. He reads helpful blogs about how to save money or make money or fix your car or build things and overall be a more manly man. Which could not be further from the overall purpose of my blog, which we have established is: Vaginas.

He wants to know why some popular chicky bloggers are able to make money doing it and all I can tell him is, Well, they are really good writers. We are not writing about dissimilar content, it's just that they happen to be really extra amusing and have a really awesome voice. Also, they have techy types who make their blogs look really awesome, and to date I am using a Blogger template. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I'd resigned myself some time ago to the almost assured fact that this blog will likely never lift off and go anywhere, and thankfully I wasn't hanging every hope and dream on that happening. Now, if I manage to finish my book and nobody wants it and I can't get it published, then you will find me drinking whiskey in the bathtub as I try to figure out what I was meant to do with my life.

So that is that. I shall return on Monday to continue discussing vaginas at length, posting photos of cats and likely complaining about stuff in general. It's what I do, and whether or not that works for the general populace who read blogs isn't worth a fig to me.


  1. I have a secret: Yours is the only blog I check every day. Honestly. Cause you amuse the hell out of me. I smile, smirk, or outright laugh every day when I'm at work.

    So thank you for that.

    VAGINAS. (heh)

    And I found out how to bring in more Web traffic. Pictures of you drinking whiskey in ... a DIFFERENT tub each day. Maybe even throw in some hats and bubbles. I bet your Hubbs -- and other guys -- would be interested in that! ;)

  2. Men read boring blogs. Well, except this one blog called Magnificent Bastard which is pretty funny.

    I want to tell you too that this is pretty much the only blog I read, but that doesn't sound very encouraging does it? :P I read it AND look forward to it. There.

  3. PS My blog should be called BOOBS.

  4. Are you kidding? I love this blog!! Some days I feel as though you can read my mind (or women truly do share the same thoughts on a daily basis)... if your book is anywhere near as funny as your blog, I will buy many copies and hand them out to everyone I know (and all men who scoff at blogs about vaginas). Keep the laughs coming! :)

  5. Whatever. Hello guys and gals have different interests!! I don't give a fig about sockets, transmissions, or door frames, but I love seeing pics of your little furballs and chatting about how to make cake and discussing how delicious it is- thats awesome!!

    I love monkey momma's suggestion. start taking pics of yourself in different bathtubs!

    Don't listen to your hubs- I love your blog.

  6. I agree with all these ladies - you're giving us GREAT VAGINA!
    Your blog is one of my new found loves so thank you.
    And not that I have any readers but you'll definitely being in my blog roll soon.

  7. Maybe my problem is that I don't know how to make complete sentences! That last one should have read:

    "And not that I have any readers but you'll definitely be going on my blog roll soon."

  8. I think I have been somewhat misrepresented here. In the fashion of communication between husbands and wives the message isn't always interpreted properly. I was merely trying to be helpful to give ideas on how the blog could generate more traffic, and some of the characteristics of successful blogs I've read. The unfortunate message received is 'your blog sucks.' Instead of 'my husband loves me enough to care, and make suggestions even if they don't apply or just wrong'

    So from now on I will refrain from such suggestions about said blog.

  9. Hmm... He clearly has no taste in blogs. I really enjoy your posts, but I totally know how you feel. I always wonder about how people feel about my blog and for a while I kept trying to figure out what people wanted from it. Then I realized it was MY blog. now I just post the things I want to post, and it feels much better that way.

  10. This is Mary. I think a blog about vaginas in bathtubs full of whiskey would be an awesome blog! Go for it. I think that should be your next post. hahaha....jk. I too check your blog regularly. You are quite an amusing little lady.

    Could you also do a blog post on the words that are selected to be used for word verifications on annoymous postings such as this. "Susli"? Really? Is that even a word.

  11. Shell - thank you darling. I think your whiskey/bathtub idea is a big hit.
    Katie - your blog should TOTALLY be called Boobs!!
    Melissa - you're too kind!
    cmoore - you know where I'm coming from. ;-)
    girL - the feeling is definitely mutual! Also, don't feel bad -- my headline was grammatically incorrect for a few hours before I noticed it. :-)
    Hubs - darling, I love you. I hoped I was being clear that you didn't really think it sucked, but that was what my brain heard.
    Vanessa - exactly!!
    Mary - I know right? Mine is "entsfu." WTF? Sorry I had to institute word verification: I was getting too many spammers!

  12. Wooohoo! Vaginas it is!!! Just follow your bliss and all is well. That's my motto. Of course, no one's ever paid me to write a thing. Although if I play my cards right, I may have some coupons for rice coming in the mail soon as a result of my blog. Score! What more could one hope for?