Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Man

We all know that working for The Man blows, which is why I don't do it any more. Unless you consider my husband The Man. He comes home and says What did you do all day?

One day doesn't vary greatly from the next. I torture myself by staring at white space on a computer screen. What did you do all day, moneybags?

I've certainly had my moments with my managers. In one way or another, I've managed to tell most of my bosses that they are incompetent boobs and that it's miraculous they manage to tie their shoes in the mornings without consulting upper management about it.

But I've never had the satisfaction of telling any of my bosses to shove it where the sun don't shine while walking out the door, middle fingers aloft. I certainly daydreamed about it, though.

We're all living vicariously through this flight attendant who told a passenger to fuck off, grabbed a handful of beer, deployed the exit slide, and tally-ho'd it out of there.

We weren't witnesses and probably are hearing some bastardized version of what really happened, but what we feel is major empathy for this schmuck.

Imagine, every day, dealing with unhappy airline passengers -- and people are really at their worst on airplanes, aren't they? Everyone desperately hates being in one and can't wait to get out of it. In 28 years of flight attending, I am sure this is not the first time a passenger has disobeyed the rules by removing their baggage from the overhead bin while the plane was still in motion (GOD FORBID). And in 28 years, it's definitely not the first time someone has smashed this dude over the head with their baggage, whether by accident or otherwise.

The way I heard the story on the news was that after this woman's luggage left a sizable wound on his head, the flight attendant demanded an apology. And the passenger said: Fuck off. 

Which is when our hero went berserk.

And then got arrested.

The passenger, however, has presumably disappeared into anonymity. There is no penalty, no criminal charge, for being a rude ass bitch. Unfortunately.

Assuming the news reports are accurate, this delightful woman could not have known that the flight attendant's mother is dying. Now that she, presumably, does know, I wonder if she feels any remorse for being a crass retard. Some people are funny and refuse to admit they were wrong.

I have an overactive imagination, so as I sit on an airplane I am creating realities in my head for the people around me. When I create realities for people in service jobs, if they seem stressed out or sad or rude, I imagine they have just lost a loved one. I imagine their child has a terrible disease. I imagine they are suffering from a foot problem that pains them.

My point is, I am never rude with people in service positions, unless they are unspeakably rude to me first. Which is rare.


  1. This story is all over the news up here this morning, and you know, I am kind of digging it! I have a lot of sympathy for this guy - and I suspect a lot of us Joe/Jane Blow are giving this guy a huge thumbs up. This is every service person's dream, man!

  2. I'm actually curious as to why the woman who hit him with her luggage and berated him wasn't arrested. Think about it -- after 9/11 and all the extra flying restrictions, it's surprising isn't it?

    OR -- if the flight attendant had been female and a male passenger had done the same thing: Wouldn't the passenger have been arrested?

    Methinks so.