My dreams are apocalyptic in nature this month.
I read a New York Times article yesterday about how the rapidly melting polar ice caps could cause a global climate crisis, and last night I dreamed that I was standing on top of the Earth, Little Prince style, as the ice sheets melted around me.
I flung myself into the frigid ocean, although I was terrified, and thought to myself that drowning in ice cold water is supposed to be one of the easiest ways to die. Whether or not that's true, I'm not sure.
A couple of weeks ago, I dreamed we elected Meg Whitman president and she started a nuclear war.
A few nights ago I dreamed I was being chased, and then raped. Which is a new one. Over the weekend I dreamed of my husband's grandmother, who passed away a couple of years ago.
I sleep fitfully, always. I am superstitious about my dreams, especially when people I know who are still living are killed in them. All of my family members and almost all of my friends have been killed off in my dreams.
I dream constantly of the dead and almost always my dreams are in actuality nightmares. I mumble in my sleep, and I sometimes cry in my sleep.
I had a couple of sleep-walking stages, awaking in places I didn't fall asleep, or awaking nude when I'd gone to bed clothed -- my clothes laid out strangely on the floor.
I've only had one night terror, and scratched my ear badly during that one as I fended off an attacker that was not there. My own screams woke me. To date, I've never been so scared in my life and have huge empathy for people who suffer night terrors on a regular basis.
I love to sleep and hate to dream.
I have an overactive imagination that is probably to blame for it. If there is a quiet moment and I appear to not be doing anything, I am likely having an imaginary conversation with myself about bizarre things that have never and will never happen to me.
Trying to think of wonderful things as I drift off sometimes helps, but often morphs into something terrible.
But I'll try again tonight to fend off the dead and Armageddon -- no reality television, no news television, no newspapers, only lighthearted reading and some Words with Friends. Some lavender oil and ear plugs and cool, clean sheets to send me to heaven.