Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Dig the hatch

My dreams are apocalyptic in nature this month.

I read a New York Times article yesterday about how the rapidly melting polar ice caps could cause a global climate crisis, and last night I dreamed that I was standing on top of the Earth, Little Prince style, as the ice sheets melted around me.

I flung myself into the frigid ocean, although I was terrified, and thought to myself that drowning in ice cold water is supposed to be one of the easiest ways to die. Whether or not that's true, I'm not sure.

A couple of weeks ago, I dreamed we elected Meg Whitman president and she started a nuclear war.

A few nights ago I dreamed I was being chased, and then raped. Which is a new one. Over the weekend I dreamed of my husband's grandmother, who passed away a couple of years ago.

I sleep fitfully, always. I am superstitious about my dreams, especially when people I know who are still living are killed in them. All of my family members and almost all of my friends have been killed off in my dreams.

I dream constantly of the dead and almost always my dreams are in actuality nightmares. I mumble in my sleep, and I sometimes cry in my sleep.

I had a couple of sleep-walking stages, awaking in places I didn't fall asleep, or awaking nude when I'd gone to bed clothed -- my clothes laid out strangely on the floor.

I've only had one night terror, and scratched my ear badly during that one as I fended off an attacker that was not there. My own screams woke me. To date, I've never been so scared in my life and have huge empathy for people who suffer night terrors on a regular basis.

I love to sleep and hate to dream. 

I have an overactive imagination that is probably to blame for it. If there is a quiet moment and I appear to not be doing anything, I am likely having an imaginary conversation with myself about bizarre things that have never and will never happen to me.

Trying to think of wonderful things as I drift off sometimes helps, but often morphs into something terrible.

But I'll try again tonight to fend off the dead and Armageddon -- no reality television, no news television, no newspapers, only lighthearted reading and some Words with Friends. Some lavender oil and ear plugs and cool, clean sheets to send me to heaven.

5 comments:

  1. I have a love/hate relationship with sleep. I long for rest, but never get it. I dream ALL NIGHT, and it is seldom pleasant. I sleep talk, walk, and eat.

    Know you are not alone.

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  2. My goodness. I usually tend to only remember nightmares, and only because I always wake up JUST before something horrible is going to happen.

    Needless to say, I wake the Hubbs up a lot, since he's a light sleeper, and me jolting awake will actually disturb him.

    As a young child, my brother had night terrors all the time. To try to help, I made him several dream catchers. I read up on them on the Internet, and even wove some of my hair into the outside structure and within the web. Its supposed to make it stronger.

    Not sure why, but it worked immediately.

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  4. Do you ever have a moment in your dream where you know something could go bad and you sort of know it's a dream and you're thinking to yourself, oh shit, now I thought about it, that bad thing is now going to happen and it does? That happens to me a lot in my dreams. Like I know I have "control" over my dreams but then the dream ends up controlling me, usually with fear. I think it kinda ties in to the fear, like you have, that if I dream something bad, it's going to happen (especially when family members die).

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  5. Ben learned years ago how to kick ass in his dreams (e.g. outwit a monster, fight off an attacker, kill rather than be killed). He tells me it took up to three months of practice to take control in such vulnerable situations, but he was determined to practice because he once dreamed that he got shot in the head — and that seriously pissed him off. So thereafter, before bed, he'd LOOK FORWARD to nightmares just so he could "kick ass" and condition his mind to turn a situation around even when most of us think we can't.

    I haven't practiced this (then again, I don't have many nightmares), but I think it's incredible to have that kind of will and control while practically unconscious.

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