I am completely blocked today, therefore all I can offer is this list. I know. Two lists in one week. This is getting a little embarrassing.
1. I started a diet today.
2. I will never eat eggs Benedict or swordfish in a restaurant ever again.
3. Because have you read "Kitchen Confidential"?
5. I bought nine bottles of wine yesterday.
6. And now I'm on a diet.
7. Which means I can't drink wine. Sort of.
8. People I follow on Twitter keep posting links to other blog posts about how to be a successful blogger.
9. It is becoming increasingly clear to me that I am never going to be a "successful" blogger.
10. If, by successful, you mean profitable.
11. I wanted to leave a nasty comment on one of the blog posts. Because the writer was sort of wrong.
12. But I didn't. Because I'm a wuss.
13. And the other 137 comments were like, "OMG You are so brilliant." Gag me.
14. When, Lord? When may I have my own Kitchenaid mixer?
15. Never mind. I am on a diet.
16. I am attending a wedding in a little over a week. It will probably be the bombest wedding ever.
17. Bombest means best.
18. I was invited to go camping this week, and I didn't go. Because I hate camping.
19. I think I'm going to eat half an apple now.