Friday, June 11, 2010

And now, live in concert....

The third floor pharmacy at the Kaiser Hospital I went to for my annual va-jay-jay inspection this morning is plastered with pictures of a very happy man. This guy looks like he ate a plate of ribs and then farted, he's so happy. He's leaning back in his chair with his arms folded up behind his head, like, aaaah. Aren't these summer mornings just wonderful? 

And underneath his photo are bold black, capital letters, that together, spell out the following: YOU MAY BE ASKED FOR A SECOND FORM OF ID.

I just about lost my shit when I saw that. I was cackling -- cackling I tell you -- while standing in line at the pharmacy. Even now, thinking about those signs, I am laughing out loud. LOLing like crazy up in here.

I am wondering if these signs are actually funny or if it's just the astounding sleep deprivation that's making me giddy.

I couldn't sleep last night. Just couldn't. I don't know why. Well. My darling husband is not in town, and I am worried about rapists breaking into my house and cutting off my appendages and stuff.

My dear husband text messaged me at 2 a.m.

Sooo tired, he says.

I did not reply. That was my way of saying: I was KIND OF sleeping before you texted me that you were tired at two in the morning. I guess Vegas is just too much fun.

Today on the second floor at the Kaiser Hospital, a very angry looking woman named Rupinder drew my blood. She looked extremely tired and maybe even hung over and definitely did not look happy. I did not want Rupinder coming near me with needles. But I didn't say anything. And then I started thinking she was an angry phlebotomist, and this made me giggle a little, and I thought The Angry Phlebotomists would be a good name for a band.

It is Friday. Good thing no one reads on Fridays.


  1. Erin, you are funny!!! I had a good laugh too.

  2. OMG. Seriously? Those posters are ridiculous. I thought you were going to say that they had something on them about being checked for STDs...

    As for the angry woman ... the people who draw my blood always get this line between their eyebrows as they search and search and search for a vein to draw from. Then there's the concentrated look, as they jab the needle into my arm and lose said vein and move that needle all around trying to find it again. Then, there's relief when they finally get it. And amazement, as they look up and find that I haven't passed out.

    As you can imagine, blood tests are not my favorite things in the world.

  3. I HATE when Hubby is out of town.... I can NEVER sleep. And why would they choose THAT guy to have has their "ID" spokesman???? ODD.

  4. Even funnier because I was at Kaiser on Wednesday without my wallet: no Kaiser card, no ID, no form of payment. And they checked my ass in! I guess I'm not the type that requires 2 forms of ID. Maybe it's something special when drugs are involved.

    I too hate it when the other person is out of town. Hate it. I would tell you to come hang out with us, but we aren't much fun.

  5. Ha, that poster does sound amusing. I'd have definately laughed too.