Thursday, April 01, 2010

A Trip to the Doctor

I don't get out of the house much any more, because in case you missed it, I'm unemployed, w00t! It's the best.

Anyway, because I don't get out of the house much anymore, I like to blog about the times when I do leave the house. So you get to read about how I went to the doctor today.

I have Kaiser now, and I've never had Kaiser before so I was a little wary of how this was going to go down. I went to the doctor because I maimed myself trying to run the other day, and also because my ear feels plugged. Like, waterlogged. I can hear my heart beating in it.

If I had gone to my previous doctor, who has her own practice, she would have ordered a CT scan, an X-ray, a full blood panel, and crutches. She would have interrogated me about symptoms. She would have put me on a diet. She would have created her own 5K running program for me.

Today, my new doctor, who is very nice but is a close talker (WHY? WHY DO THEY TALK SO CLOSE?) looks inside my ears and says It's probably allergies. Take an antihistamine and do a sinus rinse. (Like a neti pot. Neti pot doubters, eat poop!)

And then I tell her about my leg. She doesn't look at it, doesn't touch it, just says, It's probably a muscle strain. Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation. It should be fine.

My friends, this is how large HMOs make money. By telling you that your ailments are probably something curable by over-the-counter drugs, so that they don't have to use their fancy machines to diagnose you. Which is fine. Whatever. I will go back if my problems persist. I will demand that they use their fancy machines.

So, you guys. Tomorrow I am going on vacation! I plan to blog during the trip. We're driving up to Oregon and staying in my Auntie's beach house. A very kind friend is going to be visiting Simon & Murray while we are gone, and hopefully the pussies will not destroy too much furniture in revenge for us leaving them for a week.

Stay tuned. Rainy, moody Oregon beach photos coming soon...


  1. But Kaiser is a non-profit. So I guess that's just how they stay in business. :)

  2. A fellow Kaiser member once told me that the squeaky wheel gets oiled, and honestly I hate that saying... but cause who wants to be the squeaky wheel in the first place. However, where Kaiser is concerned, it certainly is the truth. Squeak a little and you will be surprised in the difference in treatment! :)

    Have a great injured vacation! :)