The 'Eraser Head' in my head

Hang around my place long enough, and chances are that my husband will make you watch "Eraser Head."

He's got a thing for weird movies, a la "Secretary" and "Mullholland Drive," the latter of which shares the dubious distinction with "Eraser Head" of having the same writer/director, David Lynch, whose bare buttocks deserve twenty-six Singapore-style cane lashes.

Because those movies SUCK. "Eraser Head" in particular makes me feel physically ill. It's disgusting and confusing. "Mulholland Drive" makes no fucking sense, either. "No hay banda"? How about "no hay plot"?

So I'm obviously a filmophile. *sarcasm!*

Somehow I am supposed to segue this weird movie topic into my weird dreams from last night. People always say that the last thing anyone wants to hear about is someone else's weird ass dream, but I beg to differ. I love to hear about other people's dreams.

So I've been having this recurring nightmare. Last night was the first time it was vivid enough that I could remember it well enough to describe it later on. But be forewarned: The description is something like a David Lynch movie -- completely fucked up.

So in my nightmare, I am standing on the edge of a lake. There are rocks along the shore. Someone is standing to my right, but I can't see them.

Two large, circular wooden platforms sit on the water's surface. Someone is sitting on the platform on my left. Sometimes I am the person on the platform, sometimes I am both the person on the platform and the person on the shore simultaneously.

Standing on the shore, I pick up a rock and slip it into the water, knowing this will make the platforms turn. The platform on the left turns counterclockwise. The platform on the right turns clockwise. The person sitting on the platform turns with it.

The platform on the right is partially obscured in a mist/fog. Something is appearing on the platform. It is apparent that whatever is on the right platform will meet up with the person/me on the left platform eventually, as each platform turns. They will cross paths at exactly the same moment.

Sometimes I see the object from the shore, sometimes I see it from the left platform. It is a dead person. It is sitting up, blue with lack of oxygen, eyes wide open, and something about it is so frightening to me, even though it does nothing but sit there, that I try to scream but my throat is frozen and choked. My whole body is frozen.

I slip another rock in the water. The wheels keep turning, and so on.

Last night, I recognized one of the bodies. It's someone I know, someone I'm related to, someone living. That's the first time that's happened in this dream.

I don't lend any significance to the living dying in my dreams because it happens all the time, and, to date, I have not portended the future, at least not the near future. Eventually we'll all croak, and me having a dream about someone dying and then worrying that they will die is like me worrying that the sun will shine. It will probably happen, eventually.

So anyway, I have no idea what it means. If I am everyone in the dream (some believe you "play" every character in your dreams) then I am the observer, the participant and the ... dead. And the unseen mystery person. It probably means I am worried about this next step in my life -- this quitting of my job to try writing. I'm in transition, hence the wheels are turning. I'm playing different parts, deciding who I want to be. I'm worried about a relative with a health problem.

Today I have four days until the last day at my job. I believe reality has not sunk in. I want to be a writer but who just up and quits their job to become a writer when there is no basis for their belief in their future success? Crazy people, I guess. I'm as mad as hell and I'm not gonna take this anymore? Yes, something like that.