Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Strict New Office Rules

So among the many lists I am making right now in an effort to make sure I don't quit my job and then suddenly start suffering from the delusion that I am a lady of leisure is my list of Office Rules. Any office, whether at home or in a real office, can only benefit from some sensible guidelines on appearance and behavior, otherwise, what will this world come to, I ask you?

Here's what I've got so far. I welcome any suggestions as additions to the list.

1. The boss is always right.
2. Jeans or other comfortable pants are mandatory.
3. Drinking alcohol on the job is encouraged.
4. Music (loud or otherwise) is optional.
5. Whenever the mood strikes, employees are encouraged to burst into boisterous song or simply make funny noises with their mouths.
6. No high heels, under any circumstances.
7. Employees must be showered and wearing makeup each day. (This one comes from my mother, who thinks me quitting my job is a fantastic idea and says, "But you have to get up, take a shower, and put on makeup every day." Yes, ma'am!)
8. Wearing one's fanciest jewelry or insane scarves is encouraged.
9. One should lie on the floor and see if one can touch one's toes with one's legs completely straight when creativity is waning.
10. Web surfing is an integral part of the job and employees should be prepared to read a number of different blogs every day.
11. To garner inspiration, employees are encouraged to take a laptop to coffee shops, libraries, or wherever the hell else they think creativity may strike.
12. Statements of self-doubt will be met with swift punishment via a phone call to someone encouraging.
13. Employees are encouraged to maintain a work/life balance and should ensure they are getting enough exercise and sleep.


  1. As a part-time telecommuter, I have to say: Your mom is totally right. On days when I barely slog out of bed and log on? Its a bad day. On days when I do a morning routine and then log on? Super worker. It really does make a difference.

    And a suggestion: Always, always have a notepad/pen with you. (Remember your reporter days.) I can't even tell you the number of times I've been out, away from the house and something strikes me. Without pen/paper I'll totally forget it by the time I get home.

    Suggestion 2: Live it up with the hubby. Nothing sparks creativity like a happy home life. Go places, do things. You can even turn it into a weekly blog item.

    For kicks, you could do themes: Try a week as Suzy Homemaker. Then the next week turn into the Fashion Diva. Endless possibilities! (Clean Slate!)

  2. Monkey Momma has GREAT suggestions. And I agree your mom may be onto something with the shower/dress/make-up (or whatever you need to do to feel good about YOU) and I may even start to get up earlier (before my child), take a shower, dry my hair and put make-up on. It does totally change my attitude for the day when these things are accomplished. Also, I find that when the bed is made, I feel less discouraged. It's says to me, "small accomplishments make a huge difference."

    I think you should add that employees are encouraged to meet friends for lunch.