Friday, January 15, 2010

The good news is that alcohol exists

It's been one helluva week. I feel hung over, but I haven't been drinking. I feel vaguely sore, like I've been beaten. I feel all full up with crazy, so no more can be poured in. I cannot entertain any more asinine conversation today. I am unable to raise my eyebrows.

This week I started reading "The Lovely Bones," and I'm sorry I didn't read it sooner, even though it's disturbing. It's well-written, and God bless the author for not writing in a cliched way. It's hard to explain, but so often I feel like I'm reading the same sentences over and over.

So far this week I worked out only twice. I am disappointed in myself. I also ate too much chocolate. I might be PMSing.

My Clean Slate Ridiculous Optimism is wearing off, but replacing it is an Angry Determination to remain in control. I have control of me and it's all I've got. If I allow others' behavior to affect me achieving my goals, I've lost the only thing I have.


  1. If you like "The Lovely Bones," you should read "Lucky" by the same author. Its her true story -- and it can be really, REALLY hard to read at times -- but under it all, its about determination and taking back control of your life.

  2. I'm a fairly new follower reading your blog... just thought I would share something sent to me today from your post brought it back to mind.

    Some people just have big hearts. And with this gift they're very often able to feel, offer, and show far more love than they receive from those around them. Which, at times, is a heavy load to bear. So today I'd like to remind them, and especially you, that the sun asks not that the moon and planets help brighten each day, but relishes her role as a keeper of the light and a bringer of the dawn. A role much like your own.

    Keep your light shining no matter what your moons & planets are doing!!! :)

  3. Twice is awesome. Far better than me. It's ok that the momentum is dwindling. It will ebb and flow, I think. Tomorrow is a new day. A new clean slate. AND it's friggin' Saturday!

  4. Jazz hands, woman. Jazz hands!!

  5. The beauty of time-you can begin your 24 hours at any moment. Time is very forgiving. You can begin again. I believe on you.