One thing that happens when you publicly declare your intention to do something is that people will then expect you to do it.
So now that I've declared my intention to quit my job and spend my days writing, my friends and family are perched in anticipation. They are ready (as I'd hoped) with bountiful advice, not the least of which was received from fellow risk-taker and P90X Cabal member Catprick, who has decided I should quit immediately.
Because there are not many reasons for me to wait to quit, unless you count paralyzing fear and guilt. I am equally convinced that I will be successful and a complete failure. I am wracked with guilt for leaving my team at work in the lurch, since we're already down one member. But, as Catprick says, the company would not hesitate for one moment to get rid of me, if it wanted to. Also, every minute I spend sitting in this beige, fluorescent lit cubicle hell-hole is another minute that I have failed to work toward my dream.
So I have decided I am quitting next Monday. That will give me a week to gather my thoughts, figure out a business plan of how I will accomplish my goals, and assemble some kind of schedule that I will try to adhere to so I don't spend my days watching "Family Feud" and eating cereal straight out of the box. It gives me a week to figure out what to do with my 401K and what my new health plan will look like. It gives me a week to work up the nerve to change my life in a huge way.
Now that I've made up my mind that I'm doing this, I'm oscillating between pride and terror. I'm proud to join the ranks of several of my brave friends who have embarked on their own business ventures, and I'm terrified that I will be a complete failure. I'm also worried that I will get lonely working at home or that Hubs will start to resent me, although I know better.
As many people have reminded me, though, if I do fail, the worst that will happen is I'll have to go find another job.
So here's to taking risks! Is it too early for tequila?...