Yesterday I let my job derail my Clean Slate efforts. I was definitely not being Ridiculously Optimistic. I was angry, frustrated, exhausted and overwhelmed. I skipped yoga and went home to lick my wounds. I lay on the couch with my favorite blanket pulled up to my chin and stayed there, prone, for an hour. Hubs came home and I expressed my desire to never move again, but instead willed myself to make dinner, and then promptly ate approximately 9 million chocolate covered peanuts (Seriously, these chocolate-covered peanut things, called Hubs? Are like crack) while watching a recording of "The Biggest Loser."
I expected this. I knew the most difficult thing in my life to change would be my job, and seeing as how I spend at least nine hours a day at it, I knew it would be a source of frustration and would likely make me want to eat my weight in peanut-butter chocolate ice cream. I knew it but I was still determined to make this whole Clean Slate thing work (as an aside, Hubs has taken to calling me "Clean Slate").
This morning I felt mentally incapable of returning to the office but instead, I got up and got ready for work. Fortuitously, I thumbed through "Competitor" magazine (given to me last Friday by my soul sister Christina) and saw an article titled, "Erasing Excuses." Reading it was the mental equivalent of being slapped in the face and having a bucket of ice water dumped over my head. Suffice to say I have hit the reset button on Clean Slate, and am ready once again to kick ass and take names.
I recognize it's all right to have bad days, and even to go careening off the diet plan temporarily, but I will not let outside influences determine how I am going to live now. I am in control now. Not my job. Not anything or anyone else.
In more positive news, yesterday was the first weigh-in at my office's Biggest Loser Challenge, and I am currently in third place (among 17 competitors) with a 1.7% weight loss. Slow and steady, baby.