Things I have done in the last few days that are either going to get me killed, fired, or publicly humiliated (I know, too late, right?):
Yesterday I was frantically driving to yoga (let's hurry up and relax dammit!) so that I wouldn't be late, and I could have sworn that a light was green, but it so was not. Much honking ensued. Luckily no accident resulted. For the rest of the day I kept second guessing myself. 'That's green, right? Let's not be hasty...'
Then here's something I've been doing for like three weeks now. First, a little background. I have a mixture of clients and vendors who have the same names. There are like five Craigs, 14 Jeffs, 3 bazillion Steves -- you get the idea. I've been REPEATEDLY contacting the wrong Craig, Jeff or Steve for the wrong information, causing much confusion on my part, and much irritation on theirs. This means more people than usual think I am mentally retarded and will probably be recommending I be terminated shortly.
And then, I've been getting sloppy with my writing. Just yesterday, the headline on my blog post was completely incomprehensible and fucked up and not a single one of my 3 readers said anything. I realize that what my head is doing is sounding words out to itself, and then my hands are typing words that kind of sound like the correct words, but so are not the right words, and are in fact very wrong and causing much confusion among my faithful followers (I love you. And you. And you, too).
So, I hereby apologize to all drivers, Craigs, Jeffs, Steves, and faithful readers who have been thinking to themselves: What the fuck is wrong with that woman and why is there a crazy gleam in her eye? I blame a combination of sleep deprivation and yoga fright (seriously, have you been to yoga? It's terrifying). But that's a post for another time.