Wednesday, July 01, 2009

I might be losing my firm grip on things

I recently received a letter in the mail from my college stating that I need to take a certain math class in order to complete the requirements for graduation.

WHICH IS COMPLETE FUCKING BULLSHIT, in case you were wondering.

You might already know that I took a Statistics course last summer, after harassing my college counselor endlessly to ensure that A) This class would fulfill the requirements for graduation and B) I would not have to shoot anyone in a murderous rage after receiving a letter such as the one I have just received.

Seriously, dude. What must I do to receive a degree from this GODAWFUL UNIVERSITY?! Believe me, I am all up in the counselor's business right now in order to resolve this. For all I know it's a minor glitch and my degree will be mailed to me next week, but if history is any indication, that is not the case. The case is probably something a lot more complex, involving, at the worst, the taking of another class and the filling out of 42 more forms that prove I exist and dealing with a handful of sarcastic and bored student employees who want to know what my student ID number is and don't understand why I don't remember it even after I explain it's been fricking 75 years since I attended this mother fracking college.

Story of my life, dude. Murphy's fricking law. If it can go wrong, it most certainly will. Regardless of what sort of institution I am dealing with -- an escrow company, a health insurance company, my own place of employment, credit companies -- you name it, they've fucked up my information. And I, naively, continue to be surprised when this happens. Me changing my last name after getting married? Oh hell no. That messed up a number of things and may even be responsible for this most recent screw-up with the college. Come on people! Women change their names all the time when they get married (which I have decided is most definitely a retarded and useless tradition) and yet no one seems to be able to handle it smoothly.

Eff you, college. Eff. You.

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