Wednesday, June 03, 2009
They're all made out of ticky tacky
I am going camping this weekend. Yes. I know. It's not advisable for a person like me, yet a-camping I go! I approach this trip with some trepidation, due to the fact that:
1) I do not own a sleeping bag.
2) I am allowing someone else to plan everything entirely and I have trust issues. I've been told to bring hot dogs and nothing else. This makes me nervous.
3) I don't like dirt or bugs.
4) I have a pain in my neck/back that may still exist when the time comes to lie on the hard ground and attempt to sleep.
5) Campground bathrooms are notoriously disgusting. One of my friends explained that last time she went camping, someone had crapped in one of the showers. (I know what you're thinking -- "camping with showers?! That's not camping!" Well that's as close as I get, bud.)
But now that I know what my challenges are, I am sure I can have a swell time. Haha! Let's face it, if there is beer present, I will be fine. I will be purchasing a sleeping bag that could keep me warm on Everest and the fluffiest sleeping cushion I can find to go under it. I will bring enough bug spray to choke a horse. I will shower in shower shoes. I will bring hot dogs, and everyone will like them, dammit.