Thursday, May 14, 2009

How not cooking dinner came back to bite me in the ass

I'll be the first to admit I'm no happy homemaker. I rarely clean, hardly ever cook, and can't seem to motivate myself to decorate my house so that it feels more like a home.
And Hubs is essentially the same way. Which is why we ended up eating dinner at Panera last night.
Which is how we ran into a chick that Hubs "went out with" several years ago. It could even have been like 8 or 9 years ago. NONETHELESS.
Here's now it went down. We ordered the food and Hubs went to fill our drinks while I chose a booth to sit in. Hubs walked toward me. He glanced at someone sitting in the booth right next to ours and, in hindsight, I saw a flash of panic.
"Hey!" the blonde person in the booth said.
I listened to them exchange pleasantries and overheard them mention a company they'd both worked at. Knowing my husband had "gone out with" a cougar from this particular place of business, I began to wonder if this was she.
I was eventually introduced to the cougar and her friend, and pretended I was just Clueless Wifey. We said our good-byes and sat down.

"Was that?..." I asked.
Hubs just gave me a look that said it was.

So my appetite was sort of ruined because now my mind was skipping off into the bad place, where husbands "go out with" women with mannish faces. We listened to the Cougar and her friend giggle in the next booth. I imagined their conversation and it irritated me.

In all fairness to Hubs, his tryst with the Mannish Cougar occurred shortly after a nasty breakup between us. We've both done "things" we're not proud of on the rebound, and the Mannish Cougar happens to be one them, and she definitely reared her ugly head last night.

Today I am trying to decide if it would be better or worse if the Mannish Cougar were actually hot. On one hand, if she were hot, then at least I could hardly blame Hubs for "going out" with her. On the other hand, I know for sure if she were hot I would have started feeling majorly insecure. As it stands right now, I know with 1000% certainty that I am hotter than the Mannish Cougar. So it's probably best that she is as mannish as she is.

And lest ye think I should not be blogging about this due to Hubs' delicate feelings, he has been fairly warned, as immediately after noting his guilty look in answer to my question of whether the Mannish Cougar was, indeed, who I suspected she was, I stated, "I get to blog about this."

And we will be eating dinner at home tonight.