Monday, April 13, 2009

I'm so rashy rasherton



I can barely even think straight, I'm so rashy right now. It's just contact dermatitis, whatever the fuck that is. It's medical speak for "We don't know what the hell that is. Take Benadryl and call me in two weeks."

Honestly, I haven't been to a doctor yet, and won't go unless this persists until the end of the week, because those quacks won't know what it is either, and I'll probably just end up having to pay extra money for some useless blood tests. It's a bumpy red rash on my arms and legs. And it farking itches! Grrraaaahhhhhhhhh.

I took an oatmeal bath last night. It was my first bath in the tub at our new home, and as it turns out the tub was designed for midgets. Lying down, my top half was still protruding from the water. Let me tell you, there's no better way to get a reality check on your body than to take a bath. With no bubbles. Take a bath and take a look at your blubber. It's depressing.

Baths and showers aggravate my rash. God, aren't you so glad you're reading this today? I must be the most attractive person imaginable. Anyway my rash turns really red after I bathe. I slather it in calamine lotion. I tried Benadryl last night before bed and I think it helped a skoch. Unfortunately I'd also eaten coffee ice cream so I had jimmy legs all night and slept like crap.

So basically I am a wreck. A fat, rashy wreck. *sigh*

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