As expected, almost all of the women in my office are on a diet today, it being the first Monday of the New Year. Normally, I'd be fully entrenched by now, a plastic container of salad in one hand and my running shoes in the other. I'd dutifully punish myself for two weeks, starve, argue with my husband, limp out of the gym pathetically, and then there would be some reason to eat pizza and the whole damn thing would go down in an ugly ball of flames.
Something's been gnawing at the edge of my mind over the last week on this topic, and I think this simple news story I just read made it click into place for me.
The woman being interviewed in the article suggests that we eat what is delicious and when we are moderately hungry rather than starving. Which, yes, I know. We are not stupid and we've been told how to eat sensibly repeatedly and we're quite well aware of exactly how it's done and how to lose weight. Hell, we have lost and gained many, many pounds. We are nothing if not experts on the subject of weight loss & gain.
Buuuuuut, we are kind of dumb. Because, as I have read, and as many of us have experienced, every diet has an equal and opposite un-diet, and in fact, the un-diet most frequently results in even more weight gain. So, we keep dieting and we keep gaining the weight back. Sure, some people live like monks and eat soybeans for lunch and practice yoga for two hours everyday after work and they seem perfectly happy with this lifestyle, but (and pardon me to all of the soybean-eating yoga practitioners out there) those people are fucking freaks of nature and should not be allowed to mingle with the rest of us, making us insane.
So I've been watching myself for a while, observing the way I eat and how much I move (or rather, do not move. Reaching for the remote control can hardly be considered exercise). I certainly eat too much, and move too little, but if I could be trained to simply eat when I start to get hungry, without worrying about whether the food I am eating is altogether healthy, and to stop when I start to feel satisfied, I might be able to accomplish some weight loss.
I realized this year that I am not, as I previously believed, a complete black hole when it comes to food. I thought I would probably gain weight this year but what I found was that I did not. I somehow have leveled off and appear to be consuming the perfect amount of calories every day to maintain my continuously undesirable weight.
So anyway, what I am getting at is that I am still compiling my list of New Year's resolutions, but upon that list will most certainly be a resolution not to diet. It pains me, almost, to say that, because part of me doesn't believe that not dieting could possibly be the only diet that works for me. But, I think it's worth a shot.