DudududududuhYou.Talk.Too.Much.

My mom used to sing a song that was very short, sweet, and to the point. It went something like this:

You talk too much.
You talk too much.
Duhduhduhduhduhduhduh,
You talk too much.

I realized later she'd abbreviated Joe Jones' "You Talk Too Much," which has other words in it that she probably didn't remember, hence the "duhduhduhduhduhduhduh."

In searching for that song on youtube, I noticed several artists have created their own songs about people who talk too much, so prevalent is the problem. Run DMC and George Thorogood both have songs about people who talk too much and how much it drives them crazy.

Ah. What to do about this problem of people who talk too much? Certain people talk too much and are close talkers, which is utterly unforgivable, particularly when their breath is offensive in odor.

These people never seem to notice others running in the opposite direction in order to avoid a half hour conversation about how to properly change a tire or what they ate for breakfast. These people have no qualms about talking when someone else is already speaking, which is almost worse than the talking-too-much part because the person seems to be thinking, No matter what you have to say, it can't be nearly as interesting or important as what I am saying right now.

These people are so enchanted with the sounds of their own voices that they simply cannot stop themselves from having a one-sided discussion about how their friend Sally slept with their boyfriend in high school for the ninetieth time while some poor person is literally trapped, desperately hoping for some escape.

Have you tried competing with these people when it comes to loudly interrupting one another? You will be speaking, the talker will interrupt and speak a decibel louder. You may try to continue speaking, a decibel louder than they, but it is a never-ending cycle, I'm afraid. The conversation becomes louder and more unintelligible with each agonizing second and the madness can't end until you throw in the towel. They certainly are not going to.

It's difficult to interrupt someone when they won't shut the hell up. I give up after a few seconds and stare in horror.

Hubs yesterday relayed to me a tale of victory against a long talker/interrupter whom he has admittedly had fantasies of punching in the head. This particular interrupter interrupted someone (imagine that!) who was already speaking, and my husband managed to assertively stop the interrupter from speaking and tell him to wait his turn to speak. One participant in the conversation was so overjoyed at this turn of events that he later sent Hubs an email of gratitude.

So that appears to be the solution. Do not befriend the long talkers/interrupters. Assertively put them in their place, if you can stomach it. I, unfortunately, cannot.