Shopping with the masses

They say you're either very dumb or very smart to do your Christmas shopping this weekend. Very dumb because anyone who waits for the weekend before Christmas is in for nasty crowds. Very smart because the best deals of the season are this weekend. I noticed today that both of those things are true.
Being very dumb, I did the following today:
7:45: Forced self out of bed
8:25: Checked internet for opening times -- all stores opened at 8 a.m.
8:30: Noticed strange box someone apparently dumped at side of house. Stared at it for 30 seconds. Emailed husband regarding said box.
8:35: Arrived at Starbucks for morning sustenance and caffeine. Nasty line. Left without sustenance or caffeine.
8:45: Arrived at Cost Plus. Felt uninspired. Bought some lame gifts. Was asked by strange checkout girl if I would like to own an owl. Said no.
9:30: Arrived at the mall. Wandered through Ann Taylor Loft checking out buy-one-get-one free sale. Husband called to ask about box. Mom called twice with gift ideas. Left emptyhanded. Checked out GAP. Husband called about box. Left emptyhanded. Went to Macy's, which was throbbing with people. Husband called about box, which turned out to be an oven. Left emptyhanded. Went to Old Navy. Bought four items for under $35. Great sale. Went to Borders. Found book aunt wants. Stood in enormous line. Felt like crying. Went to Target. Found several items. Felt like crying but didn't. Success!
11: Arrived at sporting good store. Chose two items for under $35. Another pretty sweet deal. Was accosted by strange girls requesting large donations. Declined.
12: Arrived home. Discussed ditched oven with Hubs. Suggested we put "free" sign on it and trick other dumb bastard into taking it. Hubs chooses to pay $60 for its removal.
12:15: Drive through neighborhood. Notice dishwasher dumped in school parking lot and sink on neighbor's sidewalk with "free" sign on it. "See?" I said.
12:20: Arrived at Panera. Too busy. Left.
12:30: Arrived at Wendy's. Busy but oh well. Ate.
1:15: Arrived at Post Office. Waited in ridiculous line with people who had their heads up their asses. Left half an hour later with desired stamps in hand.

Current time: Procrastinating on cleaning the house.