I follow one sports team, and one sports team only, and that team would be the 49ers. You may know that recently that coach Mike Nolan was fired and Mike Singletary has taken over. I was a bit sad about the switch -- Nolan was always angry and dapper looking in his suits, but no matter how many suits he wore, the team still lost. Anyway, I heard Singletary on the radio yesterday, and he said something I liked:
"I'm not a sugar-coating guy. I don't scratch my head when it doesn't itch, and I don't blink when there's nothing in my eye."
Love it, love it, love it. That doesn't mean I think suddenly the Niners are gonna start winning, but I just thought that was such an original thing to say. If you think about it, sometimes we do scratch our heads when they don't itch, and sometimes we do blink when there's nothing in our eyes.
Sometimes I snork when there's nothing in my nose. Sometimes I clear my throat for no reason. I'll pick imaginary food out of my teeth. I often do these things to make myself more comfortable. If I'm walking near a stranger, and we're the only two around, maybe I'll do one of the aforementioned things so that I don't look like some stranger who's not doing anything. I'm a stranger who's clearing her throat, wiping her non-runny nose, rubbing her non-itchy eye, sucking imaginary food out of her teeth. I'm busy, dude. Noses to scratchy, teeth to pick. Busier than you, you're just walking along, nothing to scratch.
Aaaaand yes, I'm crazy.