Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Meeting the neighbors (and other preachy items)

Last night I locked myself out of the house with four bags of groceries, including ice cream. Hubs had to leave work early to come let me in. But in the meantime while I was trying to look as though I hadn't been locked out of my own house and was maybe just spending some time in my front yard whilst wearing workday garb for shits and giggles, I met our next door neighbors. They were absurdly, absurdly nice, which makes it difficult for me to hate them due to the "Yes on Prop 8" sign in their front yard. I believe they are rather religious, considering the Catholic Radio sticker on one of their cars. Hence the Yes on Prop 8 stance.

(and here is where I get on my soapbox and start talking about Prop 8)

I can understand people who prefer to keep the definition of marriage as a union between a man and a woman, but people, please. Shall we discuss how men and women treat this sacred union, and how our track record of maintaining said union ain't the greatest? Thankfully, the divorce rate is down a bit from where it was in the '80s, but that may also be because the marriage rate is down quite a bit, according to Divorce Magazine (which -- Divorce Magazine? Really?)

According to the aforementioned esteemed publication, 59% of the population is currently married. That is down from 62% in 1990 and 72% in 1970. 10% of the population is divorced.

The magazine states that married couples have only a 52% of reaching their 15th wedding anniversary. They have a 33% chance of reaching their 25th anniversary and a 20% chance of reaching their 35th anniversary. On my 35th anniversary, I will be 63 years old, and I have only a 20% chance of still being married to Hubs, whom I consider to be my soul mate and whom I can't imagine life without.

My point is, Prop 8 proponents need to realize they are saying marriage is good enough for straight people who treat it as though it means nothing, but not good enough for gay people, for some of whom it may mean everything. Some of these people have been together for decades -- if that is not a sacred union, I don't know what is.

What will happen if gay people are allowed to marry? But but but.... there will be gays! Walking around with wedding rings! Married! Big effing deal, people. Treat your marriage as the sacred union you ought to treat is as, and do not pass judgment on an entire sector of people you can't even begin to understand.

And not to go off on another tangent, but I want to share something I overheard in the salon the other day about a 4-year-old boy whose elders have accepted is probably gay. He comes from a "normal" home with a mother and father who are still married, and an older brother who's a "boy's boy," as the ladies in the salon said. His parents are perplexed with their son's preferences and don't want to forbid him from wearing pink or painting his nails, but at the same time they won't allow him to display any feminine leanings in public. At his birthday party recently, his parents invited only little girls so that the boys wouldn't make fun of him for dressing as a princess and carrying a purse.

So I'm not saying that people are born gay and I'm not saying they're not. I'm saying I don't know. I'm saying I won't judge them because I don't know. I know they're people, I know I have friends and family members who are gay and who are perfectly capable of love, and I refuse to deny them the right to marry.

That's all.

1 comment:

  1. Ugh, I couldn't agree more... I don't even know where to begin with "Yes on Prop 8" and how it makes me so sick to my stomach that people of my same faith, and other/similar faiths, somehow think it is okay to discriminate and deny people the right to love each other/commit to each other. I believe marriage is just a symbol - something we do symbolically to let our community know that we are publicly committing to someone (and it makes us accountable to our relationship in that sense) and although one could use this to argue for or against prop 8, I like to use it against. Your marriage means what it means to you and it doesn't have to mean the same thing for someone else. It's like the next step is yes on prop 8 proponents will be saying kids of gay parents can't go to school because, god forbid, their kid becomes friends with that kid and then you have to explain why Jimmy has two dads. ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! I HATE INTOLERANT SOCIETY. But, I guess I'm intolerant of people who are for Prop 8.

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