Wednesday, October 15, 2008

It's official: I am an asshole

Why? Because my someone who I constantly talk crap about for being psychotic did a nice thing for me today. She does not suspect that I think she is psychotic and so she went and did a nice thing.

She was kind and giving.

So, I am an asshole. And I am an asshole not only because I, on a regular basis, try to avoid her as much as possible in order to avoid being roped into a long listening session about how good she has been at everything she has ever tried, but also because I cannot stop myself from feeling that she was kind today because it makes her feel important and as though others will desire her company if she does something like that, and if that's not an asshole-ish thing to think, I don't know what is.

Granted, many of us give selfishly -- it makes us feel good to give -- but I find it hard to forgive her selfish giving. I am an asshole. That's all there is to it.

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