1. My uncle once: was married to my aunt.
2. Never in my life: have I enjoyed roller coasters.
3. When I was five: I slipped whilst running sock-footed and broke my head on the corner of a wall.
4. High school was: rather detestable.
5. I will never forget: what gnawing loneliness feels like.
6. Once I met: Atreyu from "The Never Ending Story." He was disappointingly shorter than I expected.
7. There’s this boy I know: who likes to call his wife bootyface.
8. Once, at a bar: I drank and drank and flung my shoes high, high, high.
9. By noon, I’m usually: wanting to murder someone, if I'm in the office.
10. Last night: I squirmed uncomfortably on the couch due to continuing nausea.
11. If only I had: more gumption.
12. Next time I go to church: will be a long time from now.
13. What worries me most: is completely irrational.
14. When I turn my head left I see: darkness
15. When I turn my head right I see: darkness
16. You know I’m lying when: I seem to be trying to control my breathing.
17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: leggings. And being a carefree kid.
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: Titania
19. By this time next year: it will be early September.
20. A better name for me would be: mud
21. I have a hard time understanding: certain people
22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: hang myself. Because that is not gonna happen.
23. You know I like you if: I insult you.
24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: my patient hubs.
25. Take my advice, never: be that person who does everything, anything, that other people want. It's exhausting.
26. My ideal breakfast is: anything at Bill's. Mmmm. Bill's....
27. A song I love but do not have is: Big Pimpin'.
28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: bring your noseplugs
29. Why won’t people: be reasonable?
30. If you spend a night at my house: that's your problem.
31. I’d stop my wedding for: a really good reason.
32. The world could do without: socialites.
33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: do another budget at work.
34. My favorite blondes are: my sister as a wee one, hubs as a wee one, and Lynners.
35. Paper clips are more useful than: me.
36. If I do anything well it’s: loafing.
37. I can’t help but: loaf.
38. I usually cry: at the drop of a hat.
39. My advice to my nephew/niece: don't become journalists.
40. And by the way: I'm outta here. Leaving. Au revoir. Adios. See ya.