Sunday, September 07, 2008

A Sunday survey ...

1. My uncle once: was married to my aunt.

2. Never in my life: have I enjoyed roller coasters.

3. When I was five: I slipped whilst running sock-footed and broke my head on the corner of a wall.

4. High school was: rather detestable.

5. I will never forget: what gnawing loneliness feels like.

6. Once I met: Atreyu from "The Never Ending Story." He was disappointingly shorter than I expected.

7. There’s this boy I know: who likes to call his wife bootyface.

8. Once, at a bar: I drank and drank and flung my shoes high, high, high.

9. By noon, I’m usually: wanting to murder someone, if I'm in the office.

10. Last night: I squirmed uncomfortably on the couch due to continuing nausea.

11. If only I had: more gumption.

12. Next time I go to church: will be a long time from now.

13. What worries me most: is completely irrational.

14. When I turn my head left I see: darkness

15. When I turn my head right I see: darkness

16. You know I’m lying when: I seem to be trying to control my breathing.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: leggings. And being a carefree kid.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: Titania

19. By this time next year: it will be early September.

20. A better name for me would be: mud

21. I have a hard time understanding: certain people

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: hang myself. Because that is not gonna happen.

23. You know I like you if: I insult you.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: my patient hubs.

25. Take my advice, never: be that person who does everything, anything, that other people want. It's exhausting.

26. My ideal breakfast is: anything at Bill's. Mmmm. Bill's....

27. A song I love but do not have is: Big Pimpin'.

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: bring your noseplugs

29. Why won’t people: be reasonable?

30. If you spend a night at my house: that's your problem.

31. I’d stop my wedding for: a really good reason.

32. The world could do without: socialites.

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: do another budget at work.

34. My favorite blondes are: my sister as a wee one, hubs as a wee one, and Lynners.

35. Paper clips are more useful than: me.

36. If I do anything well it’s: loafing.

37. I can’t help but: loaf.

38. I usually cry: at the drop of a hat.

39. My advice to my nephew/niece: don't become journalists.

40. And by the way: I'm outta here. Leaving. Au revoir. Adios. See ya.


  1. If you'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach, it's time to quit your job.

  2. i think you are hilarious. and should be writing in sitcoms, or SNL, not doing something where you'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach. ew.