Dolores' amazing obituary has been zipping around the Internet and even led myth-busting snopes.com to verify its truth.
A reporter for the Daily Breeze contacted the woman who wrote the obituary, Aguilar's daughter, to ask her what inspired the caustic missive. She explained that her mom had been abusive and kept her children "unfed, poorly clothed and completely terrorized."
I simply cannot adequately express my love of Aguilar's obituary and her daughter's bravery in writing it.
9/23/08 postscript: I feel compelled to write more on this since I get easily 15 hits a day just from people searching for more information about the Dolores Aguilar obituary. Just today, someone commented that they don't consider Dolores' daughter's actions brave at all.
Mostly, I was fascinated that someone would have the guts to write such an honest obituary. My husband and I recently buried his grandmother, who was a spunky lady we loved very much, but if you think we were completely honest in her obituary, you'd be wrong. Of course we wrote honestly, but we didn't put everything in there. A completely honest obituary would have mentioned the heartache my husband's tiny family has endured over the last two and a half years, after enduring the death of my husband's mother, and then the rapid decline of his grandmother as she fell into the grips of dementia. She was miserable, and we were miserable. A truly honest obituary might have mentioned how toward the end she didn't trust anyone, including family, or how she wrote agonized notes to herself over and over that said the same things, in her effort to remember everything.
I know this is different than Dolores' situation, as she was apparently unliked by her family due to what they call a lifetime of abuse and neglect. Is it brave and noble to write such an honest obituary or shameful and vindictive? I can't honestly tell you.
I do know, as a former reporter and someone who's always been obsessed with obituaries, this is a highly unusual one. And it's managed to spark a ton of interest, and if anything the interest seems to grow by the day, despite news agencies having dropped the story. It's been fleshed out, as we say, and there's nothing more to say about it.
Some people, though, seem to still have something to say about it. If you've searched for this information and found it and you have a thought about Dolores' scathing obituary, please feel free to post it here.